On Passing Occasion for a Friend

A token taken,
A token given
For a fair woman,
A gentle friend.

In passing,
Life seems random,
Without cause,
Without effect

But every gesture,
Every word,
Every breath
Has its place.

Every occasion
Is marked and set,
But life isn’t
Cheerful at every step.

Clamor comes
Only for a moment,
Yet the good times
Last forever.

A gesture seen,
A faith believed
That love isn’t a moment
But an everlasting dream.

But dreams do pass,
They pass into the night—
One step, then two
Off into the cold night they pass.

Dreams last only as long
As the dreamer believes
And sees in his soul
A part of himself, a love to behold.

The lilies are blooming
At the water’s edge,
But the distance to be bridged
Is too far for the dreamer’s stead.

Alas, only Love can span the water
Between the two solitary islands,
Two different worlds—
Yet only silence is found instead.

On passing occasion
Sorrow could be found,
But the dreamer keeps on dreaming
Of a new world for his love.

Vocation

The Call,
It's not out of the blue.
It's written on the heart,
The heart with Truth.

The Call has always been there,
A beacon of light
In the darkness,
In the wilderness of Truth.

Written on our hearts,
The Call beckons us
To service, to faith,
To Love in Truth.

He speaks to the heart
The plans He hast made,
The plans written from the start,
For His child in body and soul.

He calls each by name
Through time and space
To love Him more fully,
To come to this holy place.

With certainty
His love renews
Our hearts, our minds
To live our call with Truth.

Cast away the doubts
For this call written in you.
Go deeper in love,
To His heart of Truth.

The Call is a call
To a vocation of Truth—
A vocation of blood and water,
A vocation of body and soul.

From the heart
We are to give,
To give fully in love,
To give mercy to the full.

The Call remains ours fully,
No matter our failings,
No matter our weaknesses.
His love, His call remain—

Fully to give,
Fully to love.
Freely we give;
Freely we love.

In a heart of mercy
We live body and soul
To give the gift,
The gift of love—

Forever fruitful,
Forever faithful,
Forever fully,
Forever free.

Forever we love—
Forever we love—
Forever we love—
Forever with the Divine.

The Easter Light: The Promises of a Faithful Father Kept

The Easter Light is upon us today. It has been a day since the wonderful liturgy of the Easter Vigil has passed into the night, as it were. And the blessings continue to flow with the Light of the new day. And in keeping with the promises He has bestowed on us, I now have kept one promise given to a friend—to finish a book lent in earnest. And my, the spiritual gifts of the book.

And yet, as grace would have it, that was not the first. But I must work my way back to unravel the graces bestowed to me in most serendipitous ways. First we must start with the Easter Light we celebrate that today. As I have heard on television this morning upon waking and have read in the book this evening before writing at this late hour, St. Augustine aptly pointed out that the New Covenant is concealed in the Old, while the Old is revealed in the New. And in the New is Jesus Christ, our Easter Light. There are no coincidences. And this is where I begin for I am a man called to action in Word and, now, in deed.

For some months I have been wrestling with my place in the future ahead. The storms have started once more, and darkness had set in. And this is where I started reading Scott Hahn's A Father Who Keeps His Promises at the behest of a gentle friend. I will unveil the wrestling in due time, but here I will speak of the action the Lord calls me to. It is through this book that I have found the Call reaffirmed.

First, I must admit I go looking for affirmation, sometimes in the wrong places, but I more often than not rest in areas where the affirmation is pure and luminous as day. This book is one of those. While it begins slowly, recounting Israel's long Biblical history with many asides, it warms to the heart of the matter starting with Moses through the desert and especially with Chapter Ten: "Choose This Day Whom You Will Serve!": From Conquest to Kingdom. It the start of the chapter that jumps out to me:

Every parent knows the feeling. Your beautiful little baby is growing and learning how to talk. Then suddenly he discovers the word that changes everything: NO! - pg. 191

It is here that I began to connect this analogy with something I saw last night at the Vigil Mass in the balcony. As we began the Mass, filling the pews of the whole church from top to bottom, I sat down behind a young family—husband and wife with their baby daughter—with the whole church aglow with the Easter light on each of our candles, making the church a sea of candlelight. The baby's eyes were filled with awe and amazement at the light and could not help but be captivated with the candles, her eyes large drinking in the light from all of the darkness of the Sanctuary. I, in turn, could not take my eyes from this scene.

I was drawn to remain there viewing this calm child, eyes full of wonder. It was a drastic change from Friday and Thursday when the older children were almost a terror of complaints, even though they had light to its fullest. But here was the child content with light's simplicity, mere candlelight in a church. Alas, it was not to remain. Upon completing the first part of the Easter Vigil, the Service of Light, the candles are extinguished and the next component of the Vigil, the Liturgy of the Word, begins. It is here that seven readings of the Old Testament are read, an Epistle reading, and then the Gospel reading. It is a full recount of Salvation History. And, in it, we are plunged into darkness with the readings of the Old Testament. It is here the once content child went into a crying fit that drew the family to the antechamber to the bathroom at the back—and never back to their seats in the pews that evening. Very much like the children at each of these stages, we too are with God and His plan. Yes, the fullness of God's light will again appear—in even greater glory—and the whole church will be filled with the fullness of Light as we sing our Glory of God and then hear the words "He has been risen!" with the readings of the New Testament. But we grow confused at times and throw up our voices in terrorized cries.

And so I was with that child at the Vigil in spirit. I have felt as though I was lost in the darkness of the moment and unable to realize that the Light was coming very soon. I will not forget this moment of revelation and enlightened meaning. It is true; we will falter away from the Lord at times. We will not be true to our own word. But the Lord God will always be true to His Word. He will never fail to raise His Word to new heights for the salvation of all, if we only know what to ask of Him in His infinite mercy. We are given the opportunity to be His children with Christ in the fulfillment of the Old. And in this fulfillment there is great promise!

And here I am now, called to action. I am still wrestling with the darkness at times, but the candlelight has returned. The flicker of light dances before my eyes, and my eyes can do nothing but drink in this light day by day.

The Vigil and its images and my completion of the reading of Scott Hahn's A Father Who Keeps His Promises do much to keep that flickering light before me now. And in that I find the Quenchless Light I poetically wrote about last April. It is a Quenchless Light for all nations. It is not dispelled by the night. No, it grows even brighter in the darkness. It displaces the night and it transforms the day, too. It is this Light that Scott Hahn speaks to in Chapter Twelve: "It Is Finished!": The Son Fulfills the Father's Promises.

It is here that Hahn does a masterful job of weaving the tapestry's loose ends together to point to the shining moment of Jesus' salvific role in all of Creation and does a magnificent job explaining the Triduum, from Holy Thursday to the end of Holy Saturday in the Easter Vigil. And the connections could not be ignored by me after experiencing the Jewish Passover on Wednesday night. Hahn's four points in this chapter nail the case shut for the seamless sacrifice from Holy Thursday to Good Friday when Jesus would, as He said, "drink it new in the kingdom of God" (Mark 14:25).

His words, "It is finished!" are in fact the closing of the Jewish Passover performed, with Him as both Sacrifice and High Priest, for as Hahn stated:

For example, when Jesus stood before Pilate (see John 18:33-37), John notes this seemingly unrelated fact: "Now it was the day of preparation of the Passover; it was about the sixth hour." Surely, John knew that the sixth hour was the time when the priests were to begin slaughtering the lambs for Passover. - pg. 228

What magnificent connection! It was something I was pondering with another friend last week who accompanied me to the Jewish Seder meal. It was that Wednesday evening, the start of the Jewish Passover, that we put that question to task, scouring ourselves to the placement of the mention of Passover in the Gospels. It was one of the ones least reticent but at the same time the most, too. Again, there is no coincidence, no passing chance in Scripture.

As Hahn correctly relates the Passover Haggadah to the "once and for all time" perpetual sacrifice found in "the perfection and perpetuity of [Jesus'] self-offering." As Hahn continues, "It can be represented upon our altars through the Eucharist, by the power of the Holy Spirit, so that 'through him [we] continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God' (Heb 13:15)" (pg. 239).

And it is pointing out the connections that this convert to Catholicism has enlightened me this Easter. And in the last chapter Hahn even hints to John Paul II's Theology of the Body connections within Paul's two metaphors of the Church being part of the Body of Christ and at the same time the Bride for the Bridegroom Jesus Christ. It is in and through the irony of the Gospel of John that Hahn magnifies the mysteries of the Church as Bride and Body of Christ. These two metaphors are not disconnected but very connected with the wedding feast brought to fore in the Gospel of John and again in the Book of Revelation.

And yet it is here in the thirteen and last chapter that I find some of the greatest spiritual gold from Hahn that echoes John Paul II's words, too. Hahn writes:

[...] We desire intimacy, sexual union. We find it in other persons. But that desire points to a deeper desire, which only union with God can meet; and union with God proves to be deep intimacy, unimaginable ecstasy, infinite fulfillment of the desire to love and be loved, to give and receive totally, to become one with the other.

This is truth that only the mystic can really understand; but then, mystics are lovers. And God wants us to be lovers. - pg. 256

And yet, I still feel very much like David described by Hahn in Chapter Eleven: "Thou Art the Man!": From Kingdom to Exile and also at the close of Chapter Ten, too. It should be no surprise though, as I even share part of my name with him. I have identified a great deal with David, even from youth. And especially over the past few years I have now identified with him for his passion of "vignettes of agony and ecstasy, hate and love, despair and victory, scorn and praise [that] capture this man's unusually sensitive nature as well as his gift with words and music" (pg. 215).

I feel a connection with David's strain of humility during his encounter with Goliath where he wasn't fearless but stood on principle to be the instrument of God's will. As Hahn states, "God has always been and still is looking for people who see themselves as lowly, who are humble before the Lord and fear the Creator more than their fellow creatures" (pg. 213).

And yet David's own passionate flaws are with me, too. As they are with all of humanity. It's that longing I have already quoted from Hahn. But here it speaks directly to David's lustful heart. How do we deal with the lust that enters into our hearts? We must take assessment of it as it comes and redirect the thoughts. And yet, with repentant hearts, then move forward. The same flaws can be—and ought to be—redeemed through Christ. For as David bears the wounds of his sins of adultery and still lives, so Christ bears all our sins and retains the wounds redeemed in resurrection. And there is what we should ask for—redemption of our wounded selves through Christ's death and resurrection.

And still there was more that spoke to me, for long have I reflected on my vocation. And long have I pondered the plans the Lord has for my heart. And I have had many who press me to continue to consider my vocation as if I need to either make a decision at this moment or put it off for what might seem like eternity. But there is a third road, one of embracing the current state of singleness.

I am embracing this third way, but I cannot help but to feel the unveiling of the vocation the Lord has planted on my heart.

This decision that I have encountered buried deep within my heart is that towards marriage. The little moments point to that. The dreams follow the path. The singular desire to concentrate my gift of love is present. The yearning to pass on the Word is there. A patient teaching heart is there also. The tender concern is enkindled and burns within, but I am yet without another to tend the home fires. It is acceptable and right, as I know from prayer and reflection, to still be waiting and biding my time in the Father's bliss. I have still a great deal of time before I too advance in "wisdom and age and favor before God and man" (Luke 2:52). I have much still to learn as I go down this vocational road accepting the promises of a Faithful Father.

Neither is it a blessing nor a curse. It is a transitory period in the Lord's calling to my heart. And still I have uncovered a decision in the midst of this current transitory period that is at times marked with darkness. I will go on further in another post on this process in greater detail, but—suffice to say for the present late hour—it is of great joy. And still it is not full of consolation, but Joy encompasses both consolation and desolation. Joy fills the voids between the two and is in each two. For Joy can be both bitter and sweet and fill the hearts and call us to speak. And it is in this Easter Joy that I have been graced to speak this evening, to speak from the heart. It has been a most gracious day of enlightenment of the heart.

The closing of Hahn's book speaks to me like a love letter from the Lord, a call to my vocational search:

The crisis of the Church is not reducible to the lack of good catechists, liturgies, theologians and so forth. It's a crisis of saints. But it's a crisis that our Father can be trusted to handle, especially if we allow him to keep his promises to us. "I am sure that he who began a good work within you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (Phil 1:6). So with Pope John Paul II, I urge you, "Make yourselves saints, and do so quickly!" - pg. 262

His mercy endures forever. Trust in Him, for his mercy endures forever. His mercy endures forever. Alleluia!

Treetops Away

Treetops away,
Wonders of love,
We fly away
To the treetops above.

All is quiet;
All is still;
All is wonder;
All is as He wills.

Mystifying mirth—
Only the dreams,
Only the joys
Of life's glory now remain.

The sorrows,
The pains
Of a better tomorrow
Have all now waned.

What else is there
But to remain in bliss
Of a joy that sustains,
Of a lover's kiss.

Come to the treetops—
Let us never again leave.
Come to the treetops—
Let us never cease to be.

Litany of Love

Mercy, O Lord,
What mercy do You desire?
What love do You require?
What trust, what kindness,
What heart so blessed?

Love, O Lord,
What love do You find fitting?
What path to me are You committing?
What heart to love requiting?

Hope, O Lord,
What hope do You so give!
What Spring Eternal,
What Font of Every Blessing!

Faith, O Lord,
What faith do You desire!
Seeing beyond the bend,
We turn to You, our hearts transcendent!

Trust, O Lord,
What trust do we have in You!
We trust in Your Word
To perfect our love renewed.

Word, Thy Word,
What Word so greatly blessed!
Teach us, Thy Word,
To be love for one another;
Teach us to be love renewed!

Love Outpoured

Let me see you for who you are;
Let me know your passions;
Let me learn what means most to you.

Let me move in grace with you;
Let me grow more because of you;
Let me live for you.

Let me give all I have;
Let me speak to you with the love I have;
Let me care for you in good times and in bad.

Let me see the grace within you;
Let me see the faith in you;
Let me see the hope in you;
Let me see the love in you.

Let me love you.

On Bended Knee

On Bended Knee,
I come this day to pray.
On Bended Knee,
I come to give You praise.

On Bended Knee,
I find my true self.
On Bended Knee,
I find You alive this day.

On Bended Knee,
I am compelled to stay,
To remain in Your love,
To be one with You.

On Bended Knee,
I see the one true God,
One unadulterated, One free,
One forever able, One in whom to believe.

On Bended Knee,
I find His mercy outpoured,
His love, His truth,
His glory forevermore.

On Bended Knee,
I see His presence
With sight, with sound,
With true feeling—Our Lord.

On Bended Knee,
I am enveloped completely,
In totality of Truth,
In love and mercy outpoured.

On Bended Knee,
I surrender to You,
Completely without reserve,
Without any other need.

On Bended Knee,
I seek only YOU,
My Lord, My God,
My whole being; I pray.

On Bended Knee
I thank You
For a centering peace,
A peace centered on You.

On Bended Knee
I shall remain,
To love evermore
With a heart you made.

Lost

I want to be lost in You,
In Your spirit,
In Your beauty,
In Your love.

I want to wash in Your pools of compassion,
Completely in Your peace,
In Your grace,
In Your love.

I want to breathe in Your presence
Away from my vain thoughts,
Away from my senseless worries,
Away from my hatred.

I want to see Your glory,
In the brightness of day,
In the beauty that remains,
In Your love that sustains.

I want to lose myself
In the humbleness of this world,
In the daily toils,
In the little moments of love.

I want to feel the sufferings
In gentleness of heart,
In waiting for You—the One,
In waiting for the fullness of Your love.

I want to be free in Your love,
In Your fatherly care,
In waiting for Your gifts,
In the robes of Your care.

I want nothing but to be in You,
All the days of my life,
To find myself overshadowed by You,
In the completeness of Your love.

I want to lose myself,
In spirit, body, and soul,
In no other hope but Your own
To live out a life filled with Your love.

The Father's Robes

What senseless toil
Have we done,
We the lost, the wayward?
What suffering have we begun?

We wallow in senseless action
After senseless action.
We find ourselves lost;
We find ourselves without satisfaction.

We cast away our reborn state
To live in discord, disdain,
In a world man has made,
Not a city where angels trod.

But we turn to Him,
No matter our state,
To seek His grace,
To find our true place.

We wait, in our father's robes,
For the day where all are free—
Free from the bondage of sin,
Free to be with our gracious father—our God.

Waves

Waves of distress,
Waves of despair,
Waves of pride,
Waves of greed

Waves crash,
Waves slosh,
Waves clash,
They overpower the lost...

One after another,
The struggle continues—
Finding the peace
Amid the endless storm.

What do we make of the mess?
How do we find peace even there?
How do we fight the pain inside?
How do we answer these times of need?

Step out on the waves;
Step out to the One Who Saves;
Step out on the water.
He will not let you falter.

Trust in His voice;
Listen to His command.
See His love;
Follow His way.

See before you the choice;
Choose the Rock, not the sand,
To build your house—based on love.
His grace is enough for the Way.

Then, in His love,
Those waves of distress
Will turn to love,
Ones to lift you, come what may.

Today

Today we saw history transpire,
What men and women, now and to come,
Will find further words more eloquent than these
To speak and scribe to generations to be.

Today we saw a voice inspired,
A realization of what all men of goodwill can become,
A changing of guard, a call to a new generation,
A resounding message that all are meant to be free.

Today from our nation's seat
We still find a country surrounded by storms,
By a mess no man or woman can ignore,
A mess by those same men who to us implore.

Today we received a new call of responsibility,
Of what and of whom we should be.
But all men are fallible; all men fail.
All men fail because we are free.

Today begins our nation's new chapter,
One to be filled with tears but also still laughter.
We have much still to do, to be
In this home of the brave, land of the free.

Today will be tomorrow's yesterday,
And though this still will be true,
We will find a way to our own hearts be true,
To live, to prosper, to never cease to be.

Today we live in a land imperfect,
In a union we have yet to perfect,
But we all should not forget the least among us,
Of those whom we cannot even see.

Today we were on a mountaintop,
But here is not a place we can stop.
Still there is much more to do, so much to renew;
Still more remains until we can with one voice agree:

That today will be like the tomorrow
Where all men are indeed created equal,
Where all have the rights to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness,
Where all created will truly and forever be free.

House of Prayer

What town is this,
Shuttered and closed?
What town is this
Whom Fate hast shoaled?

Are not its buildings aging?
Are not its streets degrading?
What of its stores, stations, and salons of old?
What of the gin that is no more?

What happened to the town of old,
Along these tracks through field and pasture?
What happened to its once graced stature?
Was this not all once foretold?

Its history is only outlined at best,
Known for an outlaw's birthplace,
Nothing more, nothing less.
But aren't there more stories than this bit of lore?

Aren't there tales of faithful families and more?
What do these boards speak to
And these bricks have to tell?
Are not these hallowed grounds known so well?

The façades may be worn
And the buildings forlorn,
But these streets do hold more,
Much more than I can explore.

Down the main street we shall go,
Past the worn storefronts of old,
Past the post office much newer,
And water tower found in glimmer.

No, something much greater still stands this day,
Something of grandeur that shall never cease to stay,
Something to show the remaining the Way—
A house of prayer, a place of peace.

What is this I hear,
In this town so worn?
Is not a chorus raising,
A community of believers still praising?

How can they praise where opulence has faded,
Where like the creeks' waters have now dissipated?
How can they so gloriously sing
To a God whom they prayed but have not received?

Look closer, my friends; look closer indeed.
See all the joy this night, in word and in deed!
It too is much greater than any building or wonder,
For naught is a city that has so much wonder!

What place is there,
What place of peace!
What place is there,
What house of prayer!

What miracles hast He worked!
What miracles unseen!
Surely there are more,
Much more than are believed!

It is once again Christmas night,
The town restored in colored lights,
But it's inside where the joy is at last,
Where blessings are found—delights of the past!

Generations gather together;
One after another they gather,
Generation after generation of families,
To praise a God who has blest them with His favor.

In chorus raising,
Voices are praising
Their Creator blessed
With songs of praise.

For it's in the past times of struggle
And in the past times of pain
That they remember always the small joys,
The little things that take their breath away.

And still they praise,
For it's the little joys they still seek there.
For where only a dying town once stood,
Now shines a House of Prayer.

O Love in Exile

Place to place I wander
Each day looking from face to face,
Each more beautiful than the next,
But still I find not your face.

Night to night I sit and ponder
Through a darkened mirror of wonder.
What grace of God have I rejected today?
What mercy of God have I spurned this day?

Surely this exile is mine, not His?
Surely this exile is worth the love of His?
How can it be, my heart's reason is still without me,
My love's destination has not yet stirred a heart ready to be?

O Love in Exile, my dearest love,
What piece am I still missing?
What have I yet not given?
What have I yet not found?

O Love in Exile, my separated love,
What else must I give,
What else than my love, my life, my heart?
What else can I do, have I not done this from the start?

O Love in Exile, my saddened love,
Cry not this cold and dreary night.
We two are near, so very near
In the peace of the night.

O Love in Exile, my guiding love,
Be patient too in His mercy and His love.
Peace and blessings, my exiled love;
Stay in His heart, live in Him renewed.

Live in peace for our love will be renewed,
My Love in Exile, my love, my everything, my you.
You are closer than we either can speak,
So close are those whom we seek.

Your heart and mine will find the other soon,
Of this there is no doubt,
For His mercy and His love guide us
And with our two loves remaining, His will win out.

Voices in the Dark

Deep within my troubled soul
I hear whispers of doubt,
Of old feelings once let out,
Instead of joy in reaching my goal.

Relapsed in my longing search,
My heart quivers with fear.
I want to love even more,
But how can I love what is not here?

The voices in the dark
Grow louder and louder
As my heart continues to flounder
In a cycle that leaves its mark.

The voices call out,
The past calls to me...

What of the praise,
What of the clout?
Is this even you?
Is this what you're all about?

Can't you live in the light?
Can't you be happy with what you've got?
Must you keep fighting what was?
Must you try to live with what you cannot live without?

No, another voice speaks out.
It raises a clamor beyond doubt...

Stand up and fight,
Fight for what is right.
Stand up to the night,
The voices, the darkness.
Fight for what is right.

These voices of the night,
They will not succeed...
The One's love is all I need.

Stand up and fight,
Fight for the heart's might.
Stand up to the evil,
The trouble, the feeble.
Fight for what is right.

These voices of darkness,
They will surely die...
Evil's ways denied.

Surely, I will fight
These hours of the night.
Surely, I will love
These days before us all.

Never give in,
Never give up.
This is where we begin.
This is where we shine.

Fight beyond fight,
Live beyond life,
Give all of yourself,
And never die again.

New Wine

What was once
Is no more;
What is to come
Will shine once more.

What was once—
Reserves of man's toil.
What is to come—
Blessings from Heaven's soil.

What was once,
Dead and rotting,
Turns from an age that was
To an age of new being.

What is to come
Was not what it seemed,
Mere water merely gleamed—
New wine instead, sight unseen.

Brim after brim,
What sight unseen!
Are we to know
The blessings now seen?

Go forth, you witnesses,
Go forth to the world.
Taste what is made new—
Vintage, O Vintage Renewed!

Go forth, you witnesses,
Go forth to the loveless
Show them what has been lacking—
Vintage, O Vintage Untarnished!

Woman, O Woman,
What have you done?
His glory, His passion
Have all now begun!

Woman, O Woman,
What is this to mean,
Pondering and pondering
All that you've seen?

Word after word,
What sight believed!
Are we to believe
The blessings now conceived?

O vintage press,
O womb of the Divine,
What handmaid eternally blessed,
What vessel of new wine!

"Whatever He tells you"
This is what we shall do.
"Whatever He tells you"
That we shall do with you.

Guests, O guests,
What have we seen!
God's blessings, God's mercy,
God's reflection now seen!

Guests, O guests,
What gifts have been given!
Turn to Him, O Vintage Renewed,
Live in Him and Him in you!

O vessels once broken, be now renewed.
Live in Him and Him in you!
Fill to the brim your hearts made new.
Be with Him; be now renewed!