Beloved,
If there were a way to explain myself, my heart, my actions, my feelings, and my thoughts as a man—even then I wouldn't find the love that I long to not only give
but also receive. As it were, it would be a love that satisfies.
And yet, I lack ready models—least of all ready human, in-the-flesh models to make it down this vocational road that I have decided to go down. Divorce does that even to the most graced souls.
What I do know, my dear, is that life isn't made to remain in questions and in books. Life isn't theory—it's action. And so the Lord has moved me to act here and now.
First, as a man, I cannot help but to apologize with all my heart and soul for the transgressions of my fellow man to you, dear daughter of God. So quickly do us men forget your royal claim to grace and protection. And still we take advantage of a moment. My dear, I am sorry for the pain caused. You are worth it all.
In all things you are worth the dignity and unconditional love and compassion from me and every man through our words, thoughts, and deeds. And so I'll say it again: you are worth it all.
And so the Lord has moved me to act, not out of lust for my inner most desires and hopes for the future, but rather out of a blind hope in love. I am convinced that is how love starts. No, not the emotion—the action. For if love is to exist a chance of failure must also exist. Not an unrequited attraction, that is separate.
Love must take that chance to exist and so not to die out. And so love the action is not tied together with love the emotion. And so I must act.
This all is not to say that I am independent of the need of reassuring affection. I am wholly dependent upon that. It's our Achilles' heel, as it were. But I cannot remain affixed to the consolation for I would forget the Giver of the Gift. It is you; it is of God. It is similar for both.
At the same time the Gift is also a burden—a Cross. The beloved may not love in return. What then would be unconditional love? It cannot have strings attached. It cannot be manipulative. It cannot be lust.
And so I do love you. I love you not because it is easy. No, I love you in spite of the difficulties. I love you not because of the ease of the road but because of its resistance. I love you as He calls me to, because you are His daughter, a woman all-deserving of love and protection.
What shall I do with this infant love then? I have tried to bury it. Out of supposed convenience I've buried it. Out of sickness I buried it. Out of fear I buried it. Nothing should be done out of fear. And so I must act.
This is not how I imagined love. But confidence does not equate to love. No, love must be a gift. And this gift is never wasted.
The infancy of love is something I wish not to unwillingly burden you with. I beg for mercy in learning how to fully love in my vocational path. Forgive my words if they cease in elegance.
I wish and pray only for your understanding and your continued witness to hope. No matter its direction from here, the future depends on love.
"Belief and faith are proved by works, not by simply saying that one believes, but by real actions and a HEART burning with love." - St. John Chrysostom
Monday, March 19, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Shards of Zion
O Love, what shall I speak of you?
A distant dream as sleep enters,
what night holds even in darkness.
Light is your watchword and gift your residing joy.
O Divine Fire, Pillar in the Night,
guide us to your Word, to your morning bright.
Beneath the shade tree, the Sycamore, clings one for the longing of the Lord.
The Road to Zion passes beneath it.
Will a good word go unsaid, a fragrant flower not bloom,
this the Road to Zion?
Climb the mount, dear one, yes, through the Bitter Springs.
Autumn rains await.
Little one, be not afraid for the demands of Faith—Love,
Tranquility Blessed.
The Roads of Zion call to you: Mercy and faithfulness have met;
justice and peace have embraced.
Autumn rains shall come, to wash the blemishes away.
Faithfulness shall spring in our land.
Justice shall gaze from Heaven with love for the little one.
At the gates to the Kingdom, the many Roads of Zion enter through.
Happy is the man who stands at the gateway, his quiver full,
like the warrior and his arrows, with sons of youth.
The Lord builds the house, His house, not in vain.
His quiver is full of sons ready to serve.
His foes will be put to shame, at the gateways of the Lord.
His love will not be put to shame. His love will endure forever.
The gates of Zion call out, O city of God! What glorious things are to come,
at these, the gates of Zion.
Let the voice ring out of the righteous:
"In you, all find their home!"
There David's stock will flower, a light to reveal to the nations,
the glory of the Lord!
There will His glory be known, manifold grace from age to age,
for love covers a multitude of sins.
A distant dream as sleep enters,
what night holds even in darkness.
Light is your watchword and gift your residing joy.
O Divine Fire, Pillar in the Night,
guide us to your Word, to your morning bright.
Beneath the shade tree, the Sycamore, clings one for the longing of the Lord.
The Road to Zion passes beneath it.
Will a good word go unsaid, a fragrant flower not bloom,
this the Road to Zion?
Climb the mount, dear one, yes, through the Bitter Springs.
Autumn rains await.
Little one, be not afraid for the demands of Faith—Love,
Tranquility Blessed.
The Roads of Zion call to you: Mercy and faithfulness have met;
justice and peace have embraced.
Autumn rains shall come, to wash the blemishes away.
Faithfulness shall spring in our land.
Justice shall gaze from Heaven with love for the little one.
At the gates to the Kingdom, the many Roads of Zion enter through.
Happy is the man who stands at the gateway, his quiver full,
like the warrior and his arrows, with sons of youth.
The Lord builds the house, His house, not in vain.
His quiver is full of sons ready to serve.
His foes will be put to shame, at the gateways of the Lord.
His love will not be put to shame. His love will endure forever.
The gates of Zion call out, O city of God! What glorious things are to come,
at these, the gates of Zion.
Let the voice ring out of the righteous:
"In you, all find their home!"
There David's stock will flower, a light to reveal to the nations,
the glory of the Lord!
There will His glory be known, manifold grace from age to age,
for love covers a multitude of sins.
Friday, January 06, 2012
Inspiration
There are a few ways to view writing and the composition of writing within and, by intimate association, inspiration. Chief among the defining is how to term its creation and placement. One is to term it is a blank slate, where it is all new, nothing to taint the total picture and message within. The second school would be to see it all connected, as life is, with what comes from before it and the influences of the writer. Both are correct in many respects.
First, inspiration isn't simply out of the blue. It is out a multicolored experience that we reach a moment of "Aha!" Secondly, there isn't a time that something else from our past that colors our display, our words, our choices. Life is colored in the past, but the future isn't the past.
Yet, there is something to be said about a "fresh" view. Yet, that view must come from something before it, and if so... purified to its essence, a message required to be proclaimed. Inspiration must be tested but not denied. A gift must be identified before it is known how to be used. So too must inspiration be handled.
First, inspiration isn't simply out of the blue. It is out a multicolored experience that we reach a moment of "Aha!" Secondly, there isn't a time that something else from our past that colors our display, our words, our choices. Life is colored in the past, but the future isn't the past.
Yet, there is something to be said about a "fresh" view. Yet, that view must come from something before it, and if so... purified to its essence, a message required to be proclaimed. Inspiration must be tested but not denied. A gift must be identified before it is known how to be used. So too must inspiration be handled.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Sweet Melancholy
O melancholy, sweet and bitter friend,
why have you returned again?
Speak, speak again, O dear friend...
What does it take for love's quiver
to be taken again from me?
What does it take for love's sad state to be neutralized again?
I have no need of love's arrows; they have hit their mark.
I have been hit in the heart.
Love's sad state is a blessing and a curse, but this way isn't meant to be.
Its purpose and goal must center itself on the Sacrifice.
It must be Love that it always sees.
O melancholy, sweet and bitter friend,
show me the Christ child... and your sweet and bitter end.
why have you returned again?
Speak, speak again, O dear friend...
What does it take for love's quiver
to be taken again from me?
What does it take for love's sad state to be neutralized again?
I have no need of love's arrows; they have hit their mark.
I have been hit in the heart.
Love's sad state is a blessing and a curse, but this way isn't meant to be.
Its purpose and goal must center itself on the Sacrifice.
It must be Love that it always sees.
O melancholy, sweet and bitter friend,
show me the Christ child... and your sweet and bitter end.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Archetypes and Models of Sexual Differences
The need for the Marian and Christ archetypes in modern times is ever the more present. It wouldn't be purely out of the sheer sociological necessity rationalized away by Joseph Campbell in his seminal work The Hero with a Thousand Faces, but there is a ring of truth in that purview into the human consciousness no matter the society or time.
The schools of thought as to how to explain the truth found in such works stretches back as far as the arguments of how to explain Faith either from a purely spiritual, religious standpoint to the notion that science can explain Faith away in a purely empirical way. This debate results in the classic chicken and the egg conundrum. What matters, however, is that such a correlation can be made and be accepted for what it is.
So the need is present for both Christ-like and Marian persons in our everyday life because they are underlying models for masculinity and femininity. What modern thought and design has gotten wrong in this arena is to assume that this is somehow "typecasting" the players on the stage, so to speak. I daresay, it would be dangerous to otherwise not assume these roles!
The hyper-roles of either masculine or feminine models and the perversions within, bespeak to the danger of Man to take either the testosterone-packed or estrogen-soaked emotional roller coaster of living by hormones alone, as if they were both merely just animals and not rational animals. Both are prominently present in modern day as any quick view of the cable lineup or a simple Internet search can testify. Both can be intermingled between the sexes and assigned to either at seemingly sheer will by the social scientist. This is the underlying mistake of living by and acting through hormones alone: no act of will exists and certainly no rationality to it whatsoever.
This then all leads to the response that is begged in light of the present-day situation. The framework on how to respond for such situations where hormones and biological tendencies cut one way and the prevailing social winds cut the other can very well leave a person stranded without any paddle, wind for the sails, or compass to guide. In short, the framework is no framework at all except to base itself off the fact that there is no structure to a response. The actors act simply because of sheer observations of their actions and declaration that this is indeed the new "normal," whatever that might mean to the observer upon circumspection.
In light of this new "normal," however, the archetypes come in to play for good to unsnarl the precarious mess before the precipice of so-called progress. If one knew and understood that "monomythic" truth to not be simply an observation of the societal underpinning but an overarching design, how would the approach to the given roles change? Would you question the reasons as to why such promptings and cultural refrains repeat without ceasing? Could it very well be that such prompts of the will are, dare we say in poetic form, written on the hearts of all? And, of course, the answer is an emphatic and strong yes.
With the two archetypes in place, the vocations are brought into focus and made clearer. The clarity that results lasers in the sight of both male and female to the beauty of the other and catapults the other into that image of the Divine, which is Love. Love, not out of our incompatibility or sheer difference, exists and even thrives in the sameness that can be found in an equality that does not equate the notion of equality of the physiological with the equality of freedom and God-given dignity before all. One exists to help the other, not to dominate the other. "Love conquers all" does not mean it dominates. Rather, Love allows the other to coexist even when the Lover consumes the Beloved. The Other does not cease to exist in the union of love, but rather it lives in union or completion of that end love. That is why martial love begs for a consummation—or, in other words, a completion. The union, and therefore the two sexes, are incomplete without it.
All of this funnels into the reality of the two models of Christ as the New Adam and Mary as the New Eve and the necessity of both. For if the two sexes are incomplete without total and complete union, then how will the imperfect union of Love ever suffice the Eternal? How does Love conquer death? Given such a model in Jesus and Mary, it does.
Both exist in the supernatural sense to help point the natural inclinations to the Eternal and to relate from the Eternal to the temporal. If we take their models into our everyday existence and experience, then when we do we naturally rise to lofty heights of both esteem and understanding that is the reality of the Eternal. Christ as the natural and perfect Bridegroom and Mary as the first member of Church, which is the Bride of Christ, shines the way to the Eternal and to the fulfillment of life itself, whether in marriage or in religious life.
Thus, in this present reality, the vocational "crisis" is made clear. It is not that we do not have enough priests, enough religious, or even enough faithful marriages that we must resort to some how "redefine" their definitions or somehow erase the original image of their definitions. It is that we do not have enough Christ-like or Marian examples living out their God-given natures fearlessly today.
We, too, can dare to live faithfully, fruitfully, fearlessly, and freely as New Adams and New Eves if we only accept that call. It is a call into the Darkness, but the Call still remains.
The schools of thought as to how to explain the truth found in such works stretches back as far as the arguments of how to explain Faith either from a purely spiritual, religious standpoint to the notion that science can explain Faith away in a purely empirical way. This debate results in the classic chicken and the egg conundrum. What matters, however, is that such a correlation can be made and be accepted for what it is.
So the need is present for both Christ-like and Marian persons in our everyday life because they are underlying models for masculinity and femininity. What modern thought and design has gotten wrong in this arena is to assume that this is somehow "typecasting" the players on the stage, so to speak. I daresay, it would be dangerous to otherwise not assume these roles!
The hyper-roles of either masculine or feminine models and the perversions within, bespeak to the danger of Man to take either the testosterone-packed or estrogen-soaked emotional roller coaster of living by hormones alone, as if they were both merely just animals and not rational animals. Both are prominently present in modern day as any quick view of the cable lineup or a simple Internet search can testify. Both can be intermingled between the sexes and assigned to either at seemingly sheer will by the social scientist. This is the underlying mistake of living by and acting through hormones alone: no act of will exists and certainly no rationality to it whatsoever.
This then all leads to the response that is begged in light of the present-day situation. The framework on how to respond for such situations where hormones and biological tendencies cut one way and the prevailing social winds cut the other can very well leave a person stranded without any paddle, wind for the sails, or compass to guide. In short, the framework is no framework at all except to base itself off the fact that there is no structure to a response. The actors act simply because of sheer observations of their actions and declaration that this is indeed the new "normal," whatever that might mean to the observer upon circumspection.
In light of this new "normal," however, the archetypes come in to play for good to unsnarl the precarious mess before the precipice of so-called progress. If one knew and understood that "monomythic" truth to not be simply an observation of the societal underpinning but an overarching design, how would the approach to the given roles change? Would you question the reasons as to why such promptings and cultural refrains repeat without ceasing? Could it very well be that such prompts of the will are, dare we say in poetic form, written on the hearts of all? And, of course, the answer is an emphatic and strong yes.
With the two archetypes in place, the vocations are brought into focus and made clearer. The clarity that results lasers in the sight of both male and female to the beauty of the other and catapults the other into that image of the Divine, which is Love. Love, not out of our incompatibility or sheer difference, exists and even thrives in the sameness that can be found in an equality that does not equate the notion of equality of the physiological with the equality of freedom and God-given dignity before all. One exists to help the other, not to dominate the other. "Love conquers all" does not mean it dominates. Rather, Love allows the other to coexist even when the Lover consumes the Beloved. The Other does not cease to exist in the union of love, but rather it lives in union or completion of that end love. That is why martial love begs for a consummation—or, in other words, a completion. The union, and therefore the two sexes, are incomplete without it.
All of this funnels into the reality of the two models of Christ as the New Adam and Mary as the New Eve and the necessity of both. For if the two sexes are incomplete without total and complete union, then how will the imperfect union of Love ever suffice the Eternal? How does Love conquer death? Given such a model in Jesus and Mary, it does.
Both exist in the supernatural sense to help point the natural inclinations to the Eternal and to relate from the Eternal to the temporal. If we take their models into our everyday existence and experience, then when we do we naturally rise to lofty heights of both esteem and understanding that is the reality of the Eternal. Christ as the natural and perfect Bridegroom and Mary as the first member of Church, which is the Bride of Christ, shines the way to the Eternal and to the fulfillment of life itself, whether in marriage or in religious life.
Thus, in this present reality, the vocational "crisis" is made clear. It is not that we do not have enough priests, enough religious, or even enough faithful marriages that we must resort to some how "redefine" their definitions or somehow erase the original image of their definitions. It is that we do not have enough Christ-like or Marian examples living out their God-given natures fearlessly today.
We, too, can dare to live faithfully, fruitfully, fearlessly, and freely as New Adams and New Eves if we only accept that call. It is a call into the Darkness, but the Call still remains.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
What Love Is... And What It Is Not...
Love is not happiness. Love is joy.
Joy has an interesting quality to it. It doesn't just have a simple relational aspect, like emotions such as happiness. Joy lives outside of both the emotional and rational spheres. It speaks to heart and head simply because it can. It speaks because true joy has Hope wrapped in it. Yet, "Hope that sees is not hope at all," so, it must also has Faith contained therein. Even more, if Faith has not works—works of charity—then Faith is dead. Therefore, too, Joy has Love, True Love contained therein.
However, the interesting thing about Love is that it requires the depths of sacrifice and self-giving with purpose. It must have an ordered purpose, or else it flies off the tracks of life into ruin. It becomes a fiery chariot racing towards the Sun, only to make its fiery crash to the depths of the earth, a fiery demise. This demise is seen everyday as "normal" and acceptable. Nothing could be further from the Truth.
If there is anything that I can learn from this experience of witnessing fiery demises on a personal level, of being a product of a fiery demise, I would stress the need for authenticity of hearts. I pray for those entering the marital arena. How much do we need the Domestic Church!
And what about Marriage? Why should we be worried on how we define it?
Because our very existence as a People depend on it. We do not exist without it.
Love does not seek quick fixes, does not quit at the first at bat, does not throw in the towel when it gets uncomfortable. Love does not fail the Other. Authentic Love requires a vow. It cannot exist outside a vow. It must subsist in a vow because, without it, love is merely a shadow of its meaning. It is icing without the cake.
This is what is strange about our society today, from our secular to church society. It demands all these things: quick fixes, no-fault verdicts, dissoluble definitions, dissoluble unions, dissoluble meanings of what a vow is. It is not quick fix. Love is not a quick fix.
Love is not merely a promise, and therefore marriage is not just a promise. It is a lifetime choice. A vow gives the love its permanence, its value as a currency. "I love you until death do us part," has a lot more permanence than "I love you until I no longer feel love for you." That, my friends, is crackle of Confederate money, a false currency. It cannot subsist on itself. It dies a ignoble death in the dark, cold and alone. Love does not burn out. It sets the world afire.
The difference between a vow and a promise is just that, promises are made to broken. Vows, on the other hand, cannot. They are the bonds, the marks of the One who gives breath to us all. We cannot escape our vows when the going gets rough. We cannot escape True Love.
Why then do priests who are given strong crosses to bear become Black Sheep Dogs or abusive priests muddy the waters of the Priesthood? Why do men and women forsake their avowed Vocations? Why do husbands cheat on their wives? Because they know not the depth of the vows to which they previously assented to. They do not mean the Yes that they spoke at the Beginning.
We are told by Christ: "Let your 'Yes' mean 'Yes,' and your 'No' mean 'No.' Anything more is from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37) "Anything more" is what we have today. It is not love; it is an excuse for love.
It's saddening, but it is not the final answer. It is not the end.
The Domestic Church and the Priesthood both require a sacrifice that the World today doesn't recognize. The World would rather redefine both to a temporary nature, ones that live on whims. Whims do not last; they have no continence. They die.
True Love never dies.
Both marriage and the priesthood require sacrifice. Both require the Other in inseparable ways, one for the Witness of earthly union and the other of Divine. Neither can be divorced from the other. Both require True Love. Both require the Cross.
That is the meaning of "I do."
Joy has an interesting quality to it. It doesn't just have a simple relational aspect, like emotions such as happiness. Joy lives outside of both the emotional and rational spheres. It speaks to heart and head simply because it can. It speaks because true joy has Hope wrapped in it. Yet, "Hope that sees is not hope at all," so, it must also has Faith contained therein. Even more, if Faith has not works—works of charity—then Faith is dead. Therefore, too, Joy has Love, True Love contained therein.
However, the interesting thing about Love is that it requires the depths of sacrifice and self-giving with purpose. It must have an ordered purpose, or else it flies off the tracks of life into ruin. It becomes a fiery chariot racing towards the Sun, only to make its fiery crash to the depths of the earth, a fiery demise. This demise is seen everyday as "normal" and acceptable. Nothing could be further from the Truth.
If there is anything that I can learn from this experience of witnessing fiery demises on a personal level, of being a product of a fiery demise, I would stress the need for authenticity of hearts. I pray for those entering the marital arena. How much do we need the Domestic Church!
And what about Marriage? Why should we be worried on how we define it?
Because our very existence as a People depend on it. We do not exist without it.
Love does not seek quick fixes, does not quit at the first at bat, does not throw in the towel when it gets uncomfortable. Love does not fail the Other. Authentic Love requires a vow. It cannot exist outside a vow. It must subsist in a vow because, without it, love is merely a shadow of its meaning. It is icing without the cake.
This is what is strange about our society today, from our secular to church society. It demands all these things: quick fixes, no-fault verdicts, dissoluble definitions, dissoluble unions, dissoluble meanings of what a vow is. It is not quick fix. Love is not a quick fix.
Love is not merely a promise, and therefore marriage is not just a promise. It is a lifetime choice. A vow gives the love its permanence, its value as a currency. "I love you until death do us part," has a lot more permanence than "I love you until I no longer feel love for you." That, my friends, is crackle of Confederate money, a false currency. It cannot subsist on itself. It dies a ignoble death in the dark, cold and alone. Love does not burn out. It sets the world afire.
The difference between a vow and a promise is just that, promises are made to broken. Vows, on the other hand, cannot. They are the bonds, the marks of the One who gives breath to us all. We cannot escape our vows when the going gets rough. We cannot escape True Love.
Why then do priests who are given strong crosses to bear become Black Sheep Dogs or abusive priests muddy the waters of the Priesthood? Why do men and women forsake their avowed Vocations? Why do husbands cheat on their wives? Because they know not the depth of the vows to which they previously assented to. They do not mean the Yes that they spoke at the Beginning.
We are told by Christ: "Let your 'Yes' mean 'Yes,' and your 'No' mean 'No.' Anything more is from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37) "Anything more" is what we have today. It is not love; it is an excuse for love.
It's saddening, but it is not the final answer. It is not the end.
The Domestic Church and the Priesthood both require a sacrifice that the World today doesn't recognize. The World would rather redefine both to a temporary nature, ones that live on whims. Whims do not last; they have no continence. They die.
True Love never dies.
Both marriage and the priesthood require sacrifice. Both require the Other in inseparable ways, one for the Witness of earthly union and the other of Divine. Neither can be divorced from the other. Both require True Love. Both require the Cross.
That is the meaning of "I do."
Friday, June 24, 2011
A Reflection on the Eternal
Something caught my attention one Sunday morning at Mass, and I found myself seeing a little more into a moment, as I am wont to do. My sightline during the consecration passed through two friends praying together as a couple. And I cannot stress how significant I say "as a couple."
As the Mass is the representation of His Sacrifice at Calvary, I have seen before St. John and the Blessed Mother at the Cross before as in a historical flash of vision. However, here, I had seen something unique to this graced view to extrapolate it to something equally relevant: to seeing it in our times. All of this, as though it is dramatizing the Word given to us and giving us a dramatization of Gospel through the representation of the Mass.
As I mentioned, "as a couple" for me brings a significance to this grace I was given to see. For in this grace, they were an unwitting witness to hope. And, though they might not have understood the personal significance of this to me, my gratitude for this moment is present even until now.
Furthermore, the scene even now speaks of something greater being intertwined in a synergy I cannot even fathom to fully describe on earth. Yet, this has a great significance, because even as the priest is in persona Christi, we are inasmuch "in persona" to others as well, and this is certainly very good.
Indeed, we can say "Lord, it is very good to be here"... and say we ought to set a tent here and never leave. Yet, we do leave... not out of lack of love but because of an even deeper love! And again, I rest on those words "as a couple" because it is important to see it not as a degradation of a better gift, but a unique one in itself to reflect His love "in persona" in other, but no less valuable, ways—through, with and in His Sacred Heart.
That grace given me is, in part, a prayer for both of them on their journey ahead. I pray that His grace remains present ahead, even in the struggle as much as the strength of building together a new life as one.
As iron sharpens iron, I pray for unceasingly for the blessed race ahead. It makes an unspoken "Yes" more present through a witness that is a reflection of the Eternal. Deo gratias.
As the Mass is the representation of His Sacrifice at Calvary, I have seen before St. John and the Blessed Mother at the Cross before as in a historical flash of vision. However, here, I had seen something unique to this graced view to extrapolate it to something equally relevant: to seeing it in our times. All of this, as though it is dramatizing the Word given to us and giving us a dramatization of Gospel through the representation of the Mass.
As I mentioned, "as a couple" for me brings a significance to this grace I was given to see. For in this grace, they were an unwitting witness to hope. And, though they might not have understood the personal significance of this to me, my gratitude for this moment is present even until now.
Furthermore, the scene even now speaks of something greater being intertwined in a synergy I cannot even fathom to fully describe on earth. Yet, this has a great significance, because even as the priest is in persona Christi, we are inasmuch "in persona" to others as well, and this is certainly very good.
Indeed, we can say "Lord, it is very good to be here"... and say we ought to set a tent here and never leave. Yet, we do leave... not out of lack of love but because of an even deeper love! And again, I rest on those words "as a couple" because it is important to see it not as a degradation of a better gift, but a unique one in itself to reflect His love "in persona" in other, but no less valuable, ways—through, with and in His Sacred Heart.
That grace given me is, in part, a prayer for both of them on their journey ahead. I pray that His grace remains present ahead, even in the struggle as much as the strength of building together a new life as one.
As iron sharpens iron, I pray for unceasingly for the blessed race ahead. It makes an unspoken "Yes" more present through a witness that is a reflection of the Eternal. Deo gratias.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
L'Angelus: Lac Bijou
I am wholly convinced if the world listened to and lived by this song, all of the world's problems would melt away. Then again, I am quite possibly a perennial optimist... or a melancholic who is a lazy perfectionist, a morning person if it weren't for morning. You see, since this song is, by definition, in music form I, a lazy perfectionist, would strive to put it simply to words alone, and still I would be up until morning (coffee-fueled jitters an all) trying to place each musical movement to words. Yet, this is the beauty of music... it means another whole world from one person to the next. It is the universal language.
And the strange thing is... I still try.
L'Angelus - Lac Bijou
And the strange thing is... I still try.
L'Angelus - Lac Bijou
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Rush Upon Me
O distant dream, O rushing current,
Spirit of the Lord rush upon me...
That each of us do see the gifts given,
The Love in opening our eyes to see
The Vocation given to each of us to be.
We shared a dance or two that night before
With music of angels, of joy, of life below...
Awakening our hearts a joy from before,
Opening our hearts to wisdom, to joy, to love bestowed.
O distant dream, O rushing current,
Spirit of the Lord, rush upon me...
Let me see the Vocation to be given to me.
Spirit of the Lord, rush upon me.
Give me the strength to be;
Give me the strength I need.
Spirit of the Lord, rush upon me.
Spirit of the Lord rush upon me...
That each of us do see the gifts given,
The Love in opening our eyes to see
The Vocation given to each of us to be.
We shared a dance or two that night before
With music of angels, of joy, of life below...
Awakening our hearts a joy from before,
Opening our hearts to wisdom, to joy, to love bestowed.
O distant dream, O rushing current,
Spirit of the Lord, rush upon me...
Let me see the Vocation to be given to me.
Spirit of the Lord, rush upon me.
Give me the strength to be;
Give me the strength I need.
Spirit of the Lord, rush upon me.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
An Easter Joy
At every step He has given, to each of us a gift, a passion to share. We need only to uncover it, discover it, and recover what has been given to each of us. It is love, it is love, my dear friend, it is love. Indeed, we are an Easter people, one without fear if we do not take it to be. And how do we at times take it to be only darkness! It is not!
How then are we to care? If not with passion after the Sacred Heart of Jesus? He has risen! He has risen—for us He has risen! It is Easter morn, and all is as it should be! Find him on the Roadside, the Inn, the one in your midst! He is there among your brothers and sisters. He is there!
The Son has broached the Horizon; He has met the horizontal with the vertical. The Eternal He has given us. He has crossed the chasm we as a People have caused between God and Man. What joy, the Cross, the Holy Cross of Christ! The fault so happy as to result in receiving such a sweet Saviour as He! What cannot then impassion us with true love!
I implore you, dear friend, now is the time to let Love reign! He is King, King forever! True Love has come to reign, in hearts and homes. He has come to reign. What sweet words to come off of a pair of weary lips: "He has come; He has risen!"
Let us rejoice with the Angels and the Saints this day. He has risen!
Happy Easter!
How then are we to care? If not with passion after the Sacred Heart of Jesus? He has risen! He has risen—for us He has risen! It is Easter morn, and all is as it should be! Find him on the Roadside, the Inn, the one in your midst! He is there among your brothers and sisters. He is there!
The Son has broached the Horizon; He has met the horizontal with the vertical. The Eternal He has given us. He has crossed the chasm we as a People have caused between God and Man. What joy, the Cross, the Holy Cross of Christ! The fault so happy as to result in receiving such a sweet Saviour as He! What cannot then impassion us with true love!
I implore you, dear friend, now is the time to let Love reign! He is King, King forever! True Love has come to reign, in hearts and homes. He has come to reign. What sweet words to come off of a pair of weary lips: "He has come; He has risen!"
Let us rejoice with the Angels and the Saints this day. He has risen!
Happy Easter!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The Christian Romantic
I realized that at every one of my pleadings to our Lord that a simple submission is best summed into the words "I accept"... this is not a victory march. No, it's a long, tiresome journey home. It is through our little sufferings that He does His most work, not through the pompous processions. We weren't redeemed by a victory march; we were redeemed by a long, burdensome trek to Calvary. That is how much He loved us. Let us return the favor, as little we can.
And that is where I am with my journey and this blog. For me, it has morphed into something more than just a place to put my musings. It is something to let whatever has been given to me to fall as it may as He deigns it to touch those it needs to touch as He, not I, may wish. And this is where the former of the new title comes from, the credo.
And so the title is together Credo et Accipio—"I Believe and I Accept." This is my rallying point and cry forward, into the the darkness that abounds.
Some days all that can be mustered in this persistent fog of the Shadowlands are the words "I believe..." but even this is enough for Him, for they are not simple idle words. They are words worked out in fear and trembling before Him who is the Giver of all Gifts.
These times can be described as one of constant rain and dreariness, but something keeps the home fires burning that can't be described, something of love, of peace, of nearness of spirit. If grace cannot be described as this, no other sentiment has its worth. It may be raining outside and dreary, but something keeps the home fires burning. It's a grace-filled longing surrounded by joy.
To incorporate a few thoughts gleaned from Fr. John Corapi, focus not on the darkness in the people you meet or the darkness in yourself. Rather, look to the Light that is within, buried as it were, ready to be taken out from the tomb, from beneath the bushel basket. It needs to be seen; see it.
At every step there is temptation. And all of us have fallen. But we must remember to get back up, get ourselves dusted off and remain on the road to Calvary. Pick up our mat, our cross, and walk. It's a long journey. We will carry on.
This is the heart of the Christian who is ultimately also a romantic in the end because the end is Love. He binds us to His Word and carries us from the desert into the Promised Land of our fathers, one of eternal life with Him. How can this faith not be seen as romantic! Truly, truly it is one of love.
And yet, we confuse not only love in the present day but so also fear, the reverential fear of the greatness of Him and smallness of us. We have lost both in society and in culture. We rename what was once love as too much and focus inward, not outward. We take, but we do not give. How can we fight the impostors of both love and fear? Through prayer, through right example, through love as He loved us. This is the cooperation we are called to with His mission, and with it we become imperfect instruments of love.
We are given this perfect love to share, but this gift doesn't make it easy for us to share it. He is the perfect example and thus the one to emulate. Christ is the mediator... but then where are we? Where do we let our doubts enter in? How do we let them in? By entertaining them. Perhaps we should take the words of St. Pio of Pietrelcina to heart:
There is no escaping doubt. Jesus had it in Gethsemane. John and the Virgin Mary at the Cross. The Apostles who scattered. The Church yesterday. The Church today. The one thing that keeps everyone going is the Church of Tomorrow. Faith fills the void that doubt leaves in its shadows and, with it, brings Light.
Let us bring Light to those in darkness.
But then how?
We do it through the support of one another, through the communion He has given us with Him, His mother, and His angels and His saints. The key in understanding it all is that we are not alone. That through the Blessed Virgin Mary we understand our role from the first disciple in her fiat to the Lord's plans, even though "she was greatly troubled" at first. Her words "be it done unto me according to thy word" become ours, and in them we are bound even closer to Christ.
God is the giver of all gifts. The problem isn't with the number of them; it's the recognition of them. The greatest gifts are often the smallest, not because they are grandest, but rather because they hold the greatest potential for flourishing. The giftedness from God has nothing to do with quantity; it has everything to do with perspective. It's in this that God shows us His infinite mercy and His infinite love.
Even so, there isn't enough joy to fill the current sorrow, and there will never be enough joy to erase the sorrow of the past. We must fully understand the reason for pain if we are to ever know fully of the joy to be given to us. We must love without strings attached.
Speak to the Truth in your presence. Leave no heart in the cold. Give warmth and, in turn, that warmth will be returned. Above all, don't leave your talents buried. Don't be a foolish servant. He gives them to you to be used, to serve others and serve Him. That is the heart of a Christian Romantic.
"For it is good to hide the secret of a king: but honourable to reveal and confess the works of God." - Tobias 12:7
And that is where I am with my journey and this blog. For me, it has morphed into something more than just a place to put my musings. It is something to let whatever has been given to me to fall as it may as He deigns it to touch those it needs to touch as He, not I, may wish. And this is where the former of the new title comes from, the credo.
And so the title is together Credo et Accipio—"I Believe and I Accept." This is my rallying point and cry forward, into the the darkness that abounds.
Some days all that can be mustered in this persistent fog of the Shadowlands are the words "I believe..." but even this is enough for Him, for they are not simple idle words. They are words worked out in fear and trembling before Him who is the Giver of all Gifts.
These times can be described as one of constant rain and dreariness, but something keeps the home fires burning that can't be described, something of love, of peace, of nearness of spirit. If grace cannot be described as this, no other sentiment has its worth. It may be raining outside and dreary, but something keeps the home fires burning. It's a grace-filled longing surrounded by joy.
To incorporate a few thoughts gleaned from Fr. John Corapi, focus not on the darkness in the people you meet or the darkness in yourself. Rather, look to the Light that is within, buried as it were, ready to be taken out from the tomb, from beneath the bushel basket. It needs to be seen; see it.
At every step there is temptation. And all of us have fallen. But we must remember to get back up, get ourselves dusted off and remain on the road to Calvary. Pick up our mat, our cross, and walk. It's a long journey. We will carry on.
This is the heart of the Christian who is ultimately also a romantic in the end because the end is Love. He binds us to His Word and carries us from the desert into the Promised Land of our fathers, one of eternal life with Him. How can this faith not be seen as romantic! Truly, truly it is one of love.
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:18-19
And yet, we confuse not only love in the present day but so also fear, the reverential fear of the greatness of Him and smallness of us. We have lost both in society and in culture. We rename what was once love as too much and focus inward, not outward. We take, but we do not give. How can we fight the impostors of both love and fear? Through prayer, through right example, through love as He loved us. This is the cooperation we are called to with His mission, and with it we become imperfect instruments of love.
We are given this perfect love to share, but this gift doesn't make it easy for us to share it. He is the perfect example and thus the one to emulate. Christ is the mediator... but then where are we? Where do we let our doubts enter in? How do we let them in? By entertaining them. Perhaps we should take the words of St. Pio of Pietrelcina to heart:
"Stop entertaining those vain fears. Remember it is not feeling which constitutes guilt but the consent to such feelings. Only the free will is capable of good or evil. But when the will sighs under the trial of the tempter and does not will what is presented to it, there is not only no fault but there is virtue."
There is no escaping doubt. Jesus had it in Gethsemane. John and the Virgin Mary at the Cross. The Apostles who scattered. The Church yesterday. The Church today. The one thing that keeps everyone going is the Church of Tomorrow. Faith fills the void that doubt leaves in its shadows and, with it, brings Light.
Let us bring Light to those in darkness.
But then how?
"When our hands have touched spices, they give fragrance to all they handle. Let us make our prayers pass through the hands of the Blessed Virgin. She will make them fragrant." - St. John Vianney
We do it through the support of one another, through the communion He has given us with Him, His mother, and His angels and His saints. The key in understanding it all is that we are not alone. That through the Blessed Virgin Mary we understand our role from the first disciple in her fiat to the Lord's plans, even though "she was greatly troubled" at first. Her words "be it done unto me according to thy word" become ours, and in them we are bound even closer to Christ.
God is the giver of all gifts. The problem isn't with the number of them; it's the recognition of them. The greatest gifts are often the smallest, not because they are grandest, but rather because they hold the greatest potential for flourishing. The giftedness from God has nothing to do with quantity; it has everything to do with perspective. It's in this that God shows us His infinite mercy and His infinite love.
Even so, there isn't enough joy to fill the current sorrow, and there will never be enough joy to erase the sorrow of the past. We must fully understand the reason for pain if we are to ever know fully of the joy to be given to us. We must love without strings attached.
Speak to the Truth in your presence. Leave no heart in the cold. Give warmth and, in turn, that warmth will be returned. Above all, don't leave your talents buried. Don't be a foolish servant. He gives them to you to be used, to serve others and serve Him. That is the heart of a Christian Romantic.
"For it is good to hide the secret of a king: but honourable to reveal and confess the works of God." - Tobias 12:7
Monday, November 08, 2010
A Poet Lost
I am a poet lost in a world of prose.
I am a dreamer stuck in a world of logicians.
Without joy, without fun, I am a poet lost,
lost in world without a sun.
I am a poet lost in world of prose.
I am a poet found in a world without roses.
I am a dreamer lost in a world of thinkers.
With clouds, with thunder, I am a dreamer stuck,
stuck in world without wonder.
I am a poet found in a world without roses.
I am a poet lost in a world of prose.
I am a dreamer stuck in a world of logicians.
Without joy, without fun, I am a poet lost,
lost in world without a sun.
I am a poet lost in world of prose.
I am a poet found in a world without roses.
I am a dreamer lost in a world of thinkers.
With clouds, with thunder, I am a dreamer stuck,
stuck in world without wonder.
I am a poet found in a world without roses.
I am a poet lost in a world of prose.
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Let Love Be
My heart busies about as a moth before a flame;
shaped and muffled it turns over and over again.
From one concern to another,
fighting the fights and sealing the shames,
of a journey that has yet to be named.
Clarity and then shadows fall into place,
where hearts filled not with love,
come home to reign.
Would love be easier if not challenged by struggle,
or is it the struggle that wins victory's name?
Nay, it is victory all the same.
Let love be not a game.
shaped and muffled it turns over and over again.
From one concern to another,
fighting the fights and sealing the shames,
of a journey that has yet to be named.
Clarity and then shadows fall into place,
where hearts filled not with love,
come home to reign.
Would love be easier if not challenged by struggle,
or is it the struggle that wins victory's name?
Nay, it is victory all the same.
Let love be not a game.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Finding a Home, Finding an Identity
How does one describe being from New Orleans? Of the City's intrinsic beauty, its pride, its excitement, its devotion to a team and to a Faith? Can things such as this be quantified or measured? Can it be snuffed out, washed to sea, blown away? Can anyone defeat such a Joy in Life as well as in death, where death is no time for mourning but celebrating the Past? The answer is found in the embodiment of a team that isn't just a team, it's part of the intrinsic nature of New Orleans. The Saints are New Orleans. And New Orleans is the Saints. Summed up in so many words: WHO DAT!
And this is what is interesting above all about New Orleans: a paradoxical love and a faith that withstands every countenance of despair and attempt of shedding. It is found in a city that weaves in a faith not blind to life, but rather one lived inside of it. It is neighbor helping neighbor. It is the yearly Carnival celebrations beside one's fellow neighbor that, indeed, they've survived another hurricane season. It is celebrations of the Saints win or lose (but especially with the wins).
Places of childhood do not leave one's mind—not the good or the bad, not the ugly or the indifferent. So it is with me—yet the last thing New Orleans will leave you as is indifferent. Not even hurricanes, which wipe off many markers of the past, or man-made engineering disasters, which finish off where Mother Nature began her work, not even these disasters will tear from memory these mementos of days gone by. New Orleans is altogether different, another category altogether.
The place has a way of instilling both a pride of place and a sadness of when progress has been stopped, delayed, or hampered. It breeds la joie de vivre and disappointment. It is a city that is far from perfect, but it is one of distinctiveness that all who are associated with it take great pride in. It is an identity that no hurricane or distance can dissipate.
It is a city that has been, since its inception, a city to be documented, but not only documented but also lived. It is a city to live vicariously in, whether it is of the past, present, or the future. They are all contained within the ramparted streets of that unique leveed city. Once you are there, you never truly depart.
One always has a piece of the city whether you've been there a day, a year, or a lifetime. The only difference is that when you move away, you become an ambassador of that spirit of life shared. It speaks to the soul like no other place in world can. And sometimes, when the voices get to be too many, one cannot realize this until it is the only voice to remain from the sprawl and noise of another place, a place where all things are manufactured and not grown, a place where the façade is the only thing present.
Yet, one's ambassadorship remains, as though one is left in a second-rate hotel room waiting out the exile to return home. It is a strange love affair that New Orleans breeds. One that remains as thick as the humid air of that river city and remains despite all odds.
More now than ever does New Orleans and the Gulf Coast need its ambassadors. Love affairs do not end once the beloved is gone, they only grow stronger. And, in it, the bonds of those who traveled those hallowed streets, celebrated its unique joy, and lived in those homes now rebuilt but not forgotten can be remembered, renewed, and represented to others as a reminder of the ones who did not make it out of the surly floodwaters or the strong headwinds of the Gulf, of the ones who survived Katrina those five years ago this day if only as a memory to our hearts, to our Louisiana.
If any song will bring me back to Louisiana... if songs had the power to do such things... this one would be it. Louisiana will always be home to me with New Orleans as its heart, wrapped in a faith true.
God bless New Orleans, the state of Louisiana, and the whole Gulf Coast as we mark this fifth anniversary of the Storm that did not break the will of people of the Gulf Coast. It may have washed the shores of a challenged land, but its people will not waver. Its people will not retreat. Its people will prosper and rebuild and renew a place, a face of what is best about America. God bless Louisiana.
And this is what is interesting above all about New Orleans: a paradoxical love and a faith that withstands every countenance of despair and attempt of shedding. It is found in a city that weaves in a faith not blind to life, but rather one lived inside of it. It is neighbor helping neighbor. It is the yearly Carnival celebrations beside one's fellow neighbor that, indeed, they've survived another hurricane season. It is celebrations of the Saints win or lose (but especially with the wins).
Places of childhood do not leave one's mind—not the good or the bad, not the ugly or the indifferent. So it is with me—yet the last thing New Orleans will leave you as is indifferent. Not even hurricanes, which wipe off many markers of the past, or man-made engineering disasters, which finish off where Mother Nature began her work, not even these disasters will tear from memory these mementos of days gone by. New Orleans is altogether different, another category altogether.
The place has a way of instilling both a pride of place and a sadness of when progress has been stopped, delayed, or hampered. It breeds la joie de vivre and disappointment. It is a city that is far from perfect, but it is one of distinctiveness that all who are associated with it take great pride in. It is an identity that no hurricane or distance can dissipate.
It is a city that has been, since its inception, a city to be documented, but not only documented but also lived. It is a city to live vicariously in, whether it is of the past, present, or the future. They are all contained within the ramparted streets of that unique leveed city. Once you are there, you never truly depart.
One always has a piece of the city whether you've been there a day, a year, or a lifetime. The only difference is that when you move away, you become an ambassador of that spirit of life shared. It speaks to the soul like no other place in world can. And sometimes, when the voices get to be too many, one cannot realize this until it is the only voice to remain from the sprawl and noise of another place, a place where all things are manufactured and not grown, a place where the façade is the only thing present.
Yet, one's ambassadorship remains, as though one is left in a second-rate hotel room waiting out the exile to return home. It is a strange love affair that New Orleans breeds. One that remains as thick as the humid air of that river city and remains despite all odds.
More now than ever does New Orleans and the Gulf Coast need its ambassadors. Love affairs do not end once the beloved is gone, they only grow stronger. And, in it, the bonds of those who traveled those hallowed streets, celebrated its unique joy, and lived in those homes now rebuilt but not forgotten can be remembered, renewed, and represented to others as a reminder of the ones who did not make it out of the surly floodwaters or the strong headwinds of the Gulf, of the ones who survived Katrina those five years ago this day if only as a memory to our hearts, to our Louisiana.
If any song will bring me back to Louisiana... if songs had the power to do such things... this one would be it. Louisiana will always be home to me with New Orleans as its heart, wrapped in a faith true.
God bless New Orleans, the state of Louisiana, and the whole Gulf Coast as we mark this fifth anniversary of the Storm that did not break the will of people of the Gulf Coast. It may have washed the shores of a challenged land, but its people will not waver. Its people will not retreat. Its people will prosper and rebuild and renew a place, a face of what is best about America. God bless Louisiana.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I said...
I said a lot of things.
I said, "We are friends and that's okay,
that the silence, the distance would be fine."
But really I said,
"No, please don't go, don't leave when day is done,
don't give me a reason to let you go.
I love you but must let you go.
I love you; I love you so."
Is this a lie? To let things go?
Or is it truth to let things that are impossible
fly on down the road?
Yes, our roads converged once,
a spark of inspiration, of drive,
of mutual compassion once...
but now... only distance, silence.
What of this? What of this silence?
I said a lot of things,
but I was never silent.
I gave my silence to Him,
in hopes I was doing the right thing.
My words to Him went unceasing.
It was a gift I want now to return,
but love doesn't settle that way.
It remains; it sticks to heart and hands
like an adhesive.
It doesn't return until it has fulfilled its aim and duty.
It is with purpose as I am to be with purpose.
Its aim is my aim:
to care when caring isn't something fun to do,
to smile when smiling isn't what I want to do,
to listen but not speak...
However, one thing I did not say to you,
were the words, those words: "I love you."
Why? Because I wasn't supposed to.
But I do, I do love you.
I said, "We are friends and that's okay,
that the silence, the distance would be fine."
But really I said,
"No, please don't go, don't leave when day is done,
don't give me a reason to let you go.
I love you but must let you go.
I love you; I love you so."
Is this a lie? To let things go?
Or is it truth to let things that are impossible
fly on down the road?
Yes, our roads converged once,
a spark of inspiration, of drive,
of mutual compassion once...
but now... only distance, silence.
What of this? What of this silence?
I said a lot of things,
but I was never silent.
I gave my silence to Him,
in hopes I was doing the right thing.
My words to Him went unceasing.
It was a gift I want now to return,
but love doesn't settle that way.
It remains; it sticks to heart and hands
like an adhesive.
It doesn't return until it has fulfilled its aim and duty.
It is with purpose as I am to be with purpose.
Its aim is my aim:
to care when caring isn't something fun to do,
to smile when smiling isn't what I want to do,
to listen but not speak...
However, one thing I did not say to you,
were the words, those words: "I love you."
Why? Because I wasn't supposed to.
But I do, I do love you.
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