Taking on the Fragrance of Compassion

Passing in the midst of the subtly divine, do not fail to breathe it in. Do not forget to share this breath of fresh air. Opportunities are rare, unless you make the most of them in the present. Paradoxically they grow with the embrace of their scarcity, and the sharing of their beauty unlocks them for the return to them again both as a reusable gift of grace passed forward and also as a fond memory recounted in the heart. When we learn it isn't in the lethargic hoarding of gift for a future that may never be but rather the frantic budding of gifts given... When we realize love meted out as a scarcity does nothing but smother it in jewel-encrusted reliquaries without needed effect... We lose the immediacy, the intimacy, the humanity of our love. We should see this in the everyday, in our homes, and in our everyday places. We must be close to the ones we love, lest we lose their scent, their sweet fragrance of compassion. For to be void of it, we would be without passion with the Other. And I know of no worse death than to be without passion for another.

Let us take on the fragrance of those whom we love... before it is too late. This is the Little Way.

The Question of Suffering & The Joy of Life

We ought to realize in the everyday the profound reality that we are faced with a choice of perspective and framing of mind: either God is keeping something from us, or else He is intending something else to transpire before the gift of the secondary comes. Both still must lead to Him in the telos of the endeavor, but we shouldn't discount the real possibility our desires do not have the fullness of His love in mind (thereby missing the mark) or lack the order found in Him who orders all things (timing).

We, especially in Western society, think of it as a zero-sum game. We either get what we desire or we don't. We lose sight of the value of prayer and of certitude with the end game. We try our damnedest to get what we want this moment, in a race of instant gratification, without realizing good things are good not because they are quick but, rather, because they are abiding. The good invariably comes in sequences. We can try to "game" the system, but virtue isn't a magical game. It requires hard work and dedication.

Dedication often takes doing things that aren't natural to our sensibilities or to our patience levels, but then how would virtue grow if not with a bit of resistance? Certainly the satisfaction of something doesn't come from its consumption, for it would mean we would wish to consume nothing more. No, satisfaction comes from the growth of spirit through the tedium and the lengthening of time between desire and its consummation. The larger fire isn't necessarily a flash explosion but a growing fire that burns but doesn't consume. Love, in its purest forms, does purify through this growing fire and not from the scorching explosion of a exploding blast, burning away the impurities but not pushing away the greatest richness found within. This nugget being refined within is the virtue and good works we seek and, in its deepest forms, the insatiable desire for love and to be in communion with the Other.

So it is, timing must come from the understanding that gratification and gift isn't predicated on our readiness of receipt but our willingness to give of ourselves in the service to the Good. Who is the greatest good but Him who made all things and did so in all knowledge of the good works He called us to labor in, under, and in response to His grace?

It is His grace that leads us on, whether it be in outward suffering or in joy contemplated. No matter, joy mustn't remain inward, self-effacing. Joy is always the outward expression of the inward ponderings of a God so great as to give us His Son for expiation of our sins... and for the fulfillment of our deepest longings for Him as One. It is the joy of being filled with His grace.

Ave Maria, gratia plena...

The Better Half

There is a danger to being enlightened, that is, to seeing clearer the strengths and flaws of oneself and others. Both involve a spiritual blindness. The first risk is having greater light to see only the neighbor's imperfections all the clearer and assume one's are fewer and one's own strengths an all encompassing coup de grace for oneself mistakenly. The second is to see one's own faults as so numerous and pernicious and insurmountable to any growth or change that one gives up out of hopelessness, causing one not to help the other improve upon their imperfections for fear of one's own imperfections despite being called to do so out of sweet charity.

Both of them cause a seizing up, a squelching of spirit and, therefore, quenching of light. The first clenches the heart to compassion given, and the second clenches the hand to mercy bestowed. Both must be avoided in the pursuit of one's high calling to holiness and any dispatch away from Love's sweet gifts ignored, for one, like Mary at the feet of of Jesus, "has chosen the better part, and it will not be taken away..." (cf. Luke 10:42).

I Believe in Love: "Ti Voglio Bene"

In everything seek the Lord. Have I? This is, for me, the ever burning question. It is the one that leaves me up at night or up again very early in the morning, unable to fall back to sleep.

Hatred is a terrible sin that hardens the heart, but even greater a sin and more invidious is that of envy. If hatred can be called a sin of wishing ill of another or of destruction of what is good, then envy is the wholesale desire to possess a good inordinately for oneself, a spiritual gluttony that manifests far more easily and passes any censor or filter of the heart. It is not merely a shadow of worry but a constant danger lest we refuse to love as we ought in its proper time and place with the prudence that the heart knows. Envy breaks down the rule of compassion and foists up a ruler whose heart is possession and want. It has no place at Love's table.

So, I believe in Love. But do I believe in the totality of Love? It isn't enough to not have hatred, though this is a sort of proto-love. We must also "wish good unto others." Or as the Italians have a phrase: "ti voglio bene." It is a phrase that comes originally from Latin which means loosely, "I care so much of you that I wish the best for you," or more closely: "I want your good." It is among the many translations for the English, "I love you."

It is of little surprise they use these words for their Beloved. So must I.

So must I, as I read this past weekend's Gospel reading on Saturday: "Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’ Anything more is from the evil one." (cf. Matthew 5:37) So must I, as I saw others do this weekend in speaking their vows and thus undertaking them, if not yet fully understanding what those vows fully mean. To take courage and say "yes" and truly mean it is far worth every "no" that is meant so as to have another ready to believe in Love and act forthrightly to live it and to "make good to the Lord all that you vow." (cf. Matthew 5:33, Psalm 50:14) So must we believe in Love. Amen.

Love Does Not Doubt Love

The sacrifice of an immediate joy for a greater and far longer one, though thought in the moment as a folly or farce, is far more fantastic and favorable to one's very self than being gorged on the temporal pleasures or the immediate response of even a great good in its own right. It is often, in the delayed gratification resulting with a gift given of a far greater good than had one hoped first for, that its delayed but not demurred joy is not only larger and more lively a gift but so also more effective, covering every suffering or lack of happiness thus preceding. Love, though never counting the costs nor counting the returns, profits more from the latter one of delay than the former of the moment. Love does not answer always in the most perceptive of ways, but often it is in the quiet wait that its joys and its beautiful installment of what is yet to come is shown as a sweet enveloping light from Heaven, and then we recall that "He so loved the world that He gave us His only Son." (cf. Jn 3:16)

"I know that love strengthens every vocation, that love is everything, that it embraces all times and all places, because it is eternal." - St. Therese of Lisieux

And in that truth the hope and faith in Love Divine rests. In that Truth Love bears out the hope that is Hope for it was not seen and the Faith of the one who had not yet seen. Love, thus, does not doubt Love, and thus it waits steadfastly for the faith of the Fallen, of the Broken, of the Ones weakened but not lost to sin to then render their hearts and not their hands and thus make known fully how His Love has made their lives' "steadfastness manifest" for Love does all these things for its own sake and because its own property is mercy and truth itself.

"Faith without charity bears no fruit, while charity without faith would be a sentiment constantly at the mercy of doubt. Faith and charity each require the other, in such a way that each allows the other to set out along its respective path."

Benedict XVI, Apostolic Letter Porta Fidei

Deo gratias.

I Must Do...

It is in a moving peace and a moving joy that I am called to action this day. I am a man who is not happy to leave good enough alone. I am at heart a doer. I don't necessarily want the answer I have to be the right one, but every day I feel I must move closer to that understanding.

I must accomplish progress in the plans set before me so that I might not become discouraged. In short, I must have hope.

But if I have not the faith in my heart that the hope of a new day is to come, then how am I to live? I must live with love. I must show, as Pope Benedict said in conference with U.S. Catholic educators Thursday in Washington, D.C., "intellectual charity" not only to my own work but that of my peers and my professors. It is needed in everything I do to make it an act of charity, an act of love. In all things love and prayer must pervade. That is the mark of a holy life.

Let us be moved each day to find peace and joy in pursuing intellectual charity in all its glorious forms.

Ponderings on Desires

In life there is always a search for what one truly wants in life. These wants are most certainly different than our needs, but in rare cases the two can be as one.

I have undertook the reading of C.S. Lewis' book "The Four Loves" as a result of the recent Awakening I had staffed only last week. The retreat's theme was "Deus Caritas Est... Who Am I?" which means "God is Love...Who Am I?" This theme is based off Pope Benedict's first Encyclical letter "Deus Caritas Est," whose title is from 1 John 4:16. In Lewis' book, Lewis describes needs and wants in the confines of the four loves. Through it all, the basic understanding of the book is that there is a gift-love and a need-love in many aspects of life.

However, that’s enough of those musings. They shall remain for later discussion. What it is at heart that I have pondered the past few days over the holiday is this: What do I want for my life? What is it that most pleases me to see? What are my short-term desires and my long-term desires?

You might be saying to yourself at this moment, "Why is this fool talking about his wants and desires? Isn't it good enough to want and to know God's will, fulfill it, and be content?"

Well, as I sit here admiring the sunset of another blessed day, I must say to you this cannot be. For if we are to even attempt to know God's will, to even try to comprehend God's love, one must first know oneself.

But do we really know ourselves? I can tell you at this very moment, I do not and that is not unnatural or wrong. For if we knew ourselves like God knows us, we'd already have our lives planned out until death or we'd be frozen in fear to even see our own face.

So, again, I am pondering my desires. In this pondering, I have learned a few things: the human heart is a thorny object prone to pain; one's achievement matters not on one's own ability but on the willpower granted by God; and life, in all its glory, is incomprehensible to the human mind.

In these brief observations I am reminded of the need of patience in all things, even love. So it is true of the physical and emotional as it is in the spiritual.

How are we to love without patience? By its very statement, it would provide us a paradox and an impossibility. So too is my current desire, my want of the present time. I should apply patience to my love and to my current desire. In time the Lord shall answer me with His will. Only then will my desire be validated or invalidated. Only then should my desire be pursued.