There is something to be said about new years. They almost act as leaveners to the activities of one's life. Things start to get shaken until the essentials are the only things that remain. Life pursued to wit's end is a dangerous thing. There are times where rest is required, where contemplation of direction are needed and called for. What better time than the new year! Yet, clarity rarely ever comes on one's own accord, even when having one's goals before you that they seem so distant and vague.
Through this time I have realized that one of my greatest weaknesses is my impatience. It rules me more than most things at times. It is the root of my sinfulness.
Just think of that for a second. The lack of patience as the root of all other sins. It certainly comes out of not having the patience on the Lord and His plans. I can certainly trace it back to my most grievous ones lately. Impatience usually brings on a self-centeredness. The lack of patience is then also the lack of hope in God's plans. It allows for covetness to enter in. It allows a warped one-sided love that does freely give of itself but also demands—quite loudly—for love in return. How is that love? How is that not sinful?
So, my greatest weakness is my impatience. And yet, I don't have full clarity. Those murky waters still churn. They still are as opaque as ever.
And so life continues for there is hope through faith.