What a roller coaster of a time. One day I'm feeling on top of the world, the next I'm in the trash heap. What honestly gives? Silver Taps was tonight, Brian's Silver Taps. I felt so disconnected with the so many other Silver Taps I have attended over the past two years because I felt that I should know something more about those I come to commemorate.
Well, I know for a fact now that knowing them doesn't help any either. It allows the opening of old wounds, letting them fester in the harsh reality that is life now. I couldn't help but feel Brian's presence there. It was as if he was there still, like my first semester where he was directing our small games group for TAGD telling me not to worry. All I kept hearing was "Don't worry." The sounds of sirens blared in the background as we awaited the arrival of the Ross Volunteers. The sirens reminded me of those that I'm sure were present after Brian's wreck on Highway 6. The sirens came and went, but my replaying of the events around the time of his death only continued to bother me. I remember the wreck each time I drive that stretch of road. I will always have that on my mind. I just wish this was all a bad dream, and that I could wake up knowing it wasn't true.
But, it is true and that is something we all have to accept in the end. For we pray in the Lord's Prayer: "Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven." Plain and simple. His will is His will, come what may His will will be done. Nothing will change that.
Wish I could have been there, man. It must have been so hard. What did they say about him?
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I think he had a Facebook profile - wonder if it's still searchable? I'd be curious to see what he had to say!
I've been thinking about him a lot, too... and trying to focus on where he is now, in his glorified body, freed of the flesh, forever home.
Nothing was said. In fact, it's more of a silent, military-style memorial.
ReplyDeleteSilver Taps is that final tribute paid to an Aggie who passed away while a student at Texas A&M. The first Silver Taps was held for Lawrence Sullivan Ross in 1898. On a day in which Silver Taps is to take place, the flags across campus will be flown at half-mast. At the base of the flagpole across from the Academic Building, a notice is posted with the names of those to be honored that night. At 10:15 the lights surrounding the Academic Building are extinguished, students, in silence, begin to congregate around Sully, and hymns are played from Albritton Tower. At 10:30, the Ross Volunteer Company firing squad enters the Academic Plaza and gives a 21-Gun Salute. From the dome of the Academic Building, a team of buglers plays a special rendition of Taps three times. Once to the north, south, and west. It is not played to the east because the sun will never rise on that Aggie again. After the last verse of Taps is blown, the students return to their respective homes in the same manner that they came, in silence.
(Texas A&M Traditions)
All the lights are extinguished around the Academic Building, and it's generally the case along the front of the building, Academic Plaza and along Military Walk, so when you arrive the plaza is entirely dark. The walkway immediately in front of the building where there is a bronze statue of Lawrence Sullivan Ross (Sul Ross for short) in the front center of the plaza is where the Ross Volunteers (named after Sul Ross) give their 21-gun salute. The families of the Aggie(s), who have past away since the last Silver Taps, are there in front.
Brian is still there on Facebook. I wasn't on long enough to have him confirm me as a "friend," but he certainly was a great one. You can do a global search of "Brian Nadeau," and you'll find him there.
I'm not mad, just sad because of the reminders, that's all. God bless.
--John