The Church as One

My heart burns... it yearns. I wish every day was the eve in anticipation towards a Sunday morning. It is not that every Sunday has its note be the sweetest... though we must do our part. No, it is the anticipation of something even greater, greater than even the Mass present before us in our hearts of the day. That is why we are called forth, the Mass is a sending into the Vineyard. So must we... and to not grumble when we see gifts greater than our own. Even that morning, the arresting breath! A turn of the corner, a flash of light, a peace not my own. The Eucharist is our highest joy on this earth.

My heart returns to these successive weeks... for me, they're enveloped within the consciousness of the Domestic Church. At Mass a few weeks ago, again and again at that early morning offering—the young families present. We mustn't grow weary of their participation—of the coos, the noise, the shaking of the Church. It is a good and necessary thing! It reminds us of our vitality, of our love for one another. They do not belong behind, away, or shuttered. They belong in front.

I wish to take the latter of this into my arms... and ultimately into my prayers. My prayers are for those who deal with such deep loss within the Domestic Church. There is good in desires and better in their purification. We are not a Church at rest! We are a Church active, a Church Militant. A Church in Love is a Church active, not doing Her own will but the One who sent Her, who Baptized Her, who Commissioned Her for the great good She does because She is empowered by Jesus Christ himself and the same Spirit that fills us as believers in the true Faith of Jesus Christ. We are the Church, but not in our isolation... in dissident, fractious belief or in our vanity, our impatience, our own self-centeredness... We are the Church in Communion, called to be One, called to be Holy, called to be Apostolic... called to be Catholic.

Lord, repair what I have undone, what I have done poorly. Fix what I have broken, heal where I have made division, speak where I have remained silent. Make known Your love to us. Take us back into Your own heart, a people set apart. Let us see You in the Other.

Guide us into the Way of Peace, into the Way of Truth, into the Way of Love together as One. Amen.

The Resounding Note

Saturday was like peering deep into a wishing well and faintly seeing a reflection of the future despite the ripples of distortion. I found much to be comforted with, much to be concerned with, but all to be overjoyed with as timing, even for that day, was exactly to the point and circumscribed within God's blessed design. There were little hints everywhere; if we but only search for these joyful notes in spite of the cacophony surrounding, we would find our dwelling place secure.

I feel somewhat exiled from a past mixed with a delayed longing for a complex future, a restructured bond that hasn't quite reset. Some is but a deep nostalgia misplaced. However, so much remains fluid and in flux, except my desire to return in earnest and concerted steps through faith.The city of my birth, the city I returned to, is not whitewashed or even clean. It has its bruises, its diversions, and its divisions, but it is found lived in and experienced. Even so, there was cause for great joy that day: weddings! Weddings can be messy affairs, the mixing of two parts not quite similar. In the case of the one I stumbled across at the Cathedral played to the contrasts of the City... Outside the Cathedral in front of Jackson Square, there was a woman playing a full-size piano moved into the midst of the fortune tellers at the steps of the Cathedral. The other side of the Cathedral contrasted greatly with a parade for St. Patrick's Day with much useless noise that overpowered much in the Square, from the people streaming in for the wedding, to the more subtle sights and sounds... but for a moment all melted away and the silence of her piece amid the hustle and bustle of a tourist-filled space was all that could be heard... Much like prayer in a tempest. Like a decisive stroke of a master artist's brush completing a masterpiece, this flashed before me in silhouette.

Communication doesn't win by being the loudest but, rather, by being the most heartfelt, the most direct. All the garishness passes away at once, and one sees clearly the outline of a city and of the soul itself. Let us not forget to nourish our souls through earnest prayer and moments of silence throughout the day to mark the gifts and the struggles the Lord gives us to complete through Him.

To the One Whom Heaven Has Hidden

To the One whom Heaven has hidden... What glorious vision,
He for whom Time obeys and space diminish!
Sight remains obscured and the distance hidden,
This the Royal Road He hath given!

Speak of the one whom You have held from me, O Gracious One...
Speak of her as radiance that reflects the Light of Your Son!

Love, O Love, won't thou speak of the Other and in us indwell
Love's Spirit, and in all the tyrant temporal tempests quell.
O Love come now to us and dwell!

Make of us a shelter to weather the storm,
Out of the dust and air to form
Us in your likeness and to us transform,
That which is Love Outpoured.

Come to us, O Love in hiding...
Give us the grace to trust Your timing.

To All Whom Sleep Doth Possess

To all whom sleep doth possess,
May all honor and glory in the Christ believed
Be now at once seen, and all with one voice confess
That Christ is King and reigneth over the See Eternal
With one voice in compact unity and share the Kingdom Blessed.

To all whom labors doth distress,
May all glory in the Royal Road trod be seen,
That Christ's road is ours now, too, in our egress,
And the joy of following the Master on the Way
Be at once made sweet and sorrowful in times of duress.

To all in the Holy Train, to all who Confess...
Join us here below, in our thoughts and in our prayer,
Join us in the dying of the night and the rising of day,
That with newness of heart we purge all that would keep us away
From that Communion in the Sacred Heart of Him who is,
Who was, and who will be ever be, One God Living and True.
To Him be all honor and glory, world without end. Amen.

In Memoriam Benita Eggemeyer Bankston, October 30, AD 2012.

Faith Exposed

What wave is this? This that shoals the ship upon that bar of disbelief? What is this, that snuffs light from its presence?

Return to that which strengthens and to that which binds... "That I may be humble when face to face with you, but brave toward you when absent."

Are not the words of then, so also now? And what of this indescribable gift to which, ascribed to God and not to man, is not now once made live and present? Speak, O Incarnate Word!

We do not boast beyond measure, in or of the works of others that have so labor'd. But in that which increases what has already been given and takes from whom much already has been taken.

And so what foolishness would it be, that search for Truth and that search for Wisdom, if it were one led by darkness to darkness. Rather, it is Light.

What we battle is not according to the flesh; our weapons for "our battle are not of flesh but are enormously powerful." No, not a fortress could stand, nor an army could fight.

What has been written cannot be unwritten, and what has been given cannot be taken back. The Word has already spoken.

No, as He said: "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."


Cf. 2 Corinthians 9-12

The Chasm of Understanding

A response to a posting of an Atheistic peer...

The Riddle of Epicurus

If God is willing to prevent evil, but is not able to
Then He is not omnipotent.

If He is able, but not willing
Then He is malevolent.

If He is both able and willing
Then whence cometh evil?

If He is neither able nor willing
Then why call Him God?

It goes down to whether either of us gets "it."

We are on two different sides of the chasm of understanding, and surely either of us believes our way is right. And, in either respect, it is a fair assumption, through logic of which you've presented, to assume such things. And on the other hand, we have that of our understanding where the light is seen through the apparent darkness in logic itself.

And in this chasm of understanding there is darkness. Either side, those who believe in God and those who see the belief in God to be of total waste, are understandably and unequivocally ambassadors of such beliefs.

How do we bridge this chasm of understanding? It is by understanding the definitions of those words of which are used in defense of either belief.

Let us approach the word "willing"...for it is in willing that we exist. Through the biological processes, from the innate beginnings from whence we came, we enter existence. And as for the fingerprints of Creation, from where and how it came to be, they are there if not apparent to the untrained eye. No matter the form of creation, we go to the heart of the matter, where and how did we come to be? From ooze? So be it. From dust? So be it, too.

We see not where we come from, but rather where we are. And where we are going. For it is in willing something that we enter it. We have the intellect, the logic and reason to work within this world and so to interact with its Creation.

But then enters the logical claim: "If He is willing to prevent evil then why does He not prevent it?" And in the temporary view of things, in the drop of existence of any particular molecule of matter then, yes, it appears quite illogical. But where does the matter go from here? To further destruction, dismay, or despair? Is there any more existence of evil in this world on this day than the start of existence throughout all of universal creation or, more specifically, since the beginning of sentient understanding and decision-making (otherwise know as "free will")? I dare to state that the answer is no.

The only difference in this world as it is now is the number of sentient beings from that first day and thus the complexity of Creation ("the system"). One could invariably assume that "in the beginning" there was to be a single existence of an evolutionary sort. We must start from some starting point of existence. And so in this there enters one independent outlook on the world outside the forces of Creation. And if there were to be a reason for existence to go on, in this outlook, is to continue life. The how's and why's of it are to be debated of course, but the logical boils down. Then enters conflict of those of understanding. How can then we say then He is "willing" to end that which he created, if by the same understand they may do as they wish in the short-term?

Are we to expect to be called then gods, too? We might have a hand in creation but this would be a mistake, as it is, we only have a part in everything. We, indeed, are very limited in consciousness. That is, we do indeed die in the physical sense. Invariably we will take part of this plan or make our own decisions in our limitedness of consciousness and thus enter the ability to err.

And then, I would venture an educated guess that one would call to mind that of suffering in this world, the likes of disaster, disease, and calamities of cosmic forces. "Ah," would one say, "I have the riddle's answer. He cannot exist for the existence of this ‘wrong.’" Yes, we see this in our eyes of today, the problems of climate or beast or pest. We would fall victim to so-called "acts of God." What can we say of affliction? Does it not make us stronger? Does it see the fullness of all existence? If we had the outlook of life of narcissism, then yes, we’d say surely God does not exist. One might say, "If He does not stop this pain from existing then He is not there." But how short-sighted is this! We see not around the bend. And if it were around the bend and no reward to which we are given for our actions, then that same person might say it is for naught. But how can it be for naught if there is even the smallest possibility for supposed gain for "positive actions." In this instance the narcissistic person might be placated by that of Pascal’s Wager. But again, there might be a rejection even of that smallest possibility for that type of person.

For the altruistic person, there might be only gain even in the sight of all evil, think about the case of those in Nazi Germany who stood up in defense of the intrinsic evil being done. What gain was it for them? So it is the susceptibility for "martyrdom" for an intense commitment for a cause. In this manipulation could be brought about negatively just as well as positively for the world of Creation. But then, one might ask again, "Why does He allow it to exist?"

Simply put, as it is in the sciences, for every action there is a reaction. If there is something to come after our existence here then how is it to be? A knee-jerk reaction? Does the river run backwards for no logical reason? No, it does not.

The solution to the Riddle is in the scope in which it is applied. We must not look to that of single moments but sweeping vistas of time, and in those sweeping vistas of time the positive nature of things will enter. It may not be positive in the shortest of terms, but in the longest of terms it is there. As there is anything to bring forth life, it will come. But therein lies the "leap of faith"...and the chasm of understanding.

There you are on one side and here I am on the other. The darkness between the two ledges is deep, but all is required is that "leap of faith," that jump of understanding that there is more than just what we see here and that there is a greater good. For there weren't there wouldn't be any all, just as there would be total darkness if there weren't even the shadow of a single flame burning.

For my brethren of belief and equitable treatment by those of no faith, I continue with the following two passages to remember in trust of God, in whom all good things come:

There is an appointed time for everything,
and a time for every thing under the heavens.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;
a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

What advantage has the worker from his toil?
I have considered the task that God has appointed
for the sons of men to be busied about.
He has made everything appropriate to its time,
and has put the timeless into their hearts,
without man’s ever discovering,
from beginning to end, the work which God has done.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

And from today's first reading...

Thus says the LORD:
You say, "The LORD's way is not fair!"
Hear now, house of Israel:
Is it my way that is unfair, or rather, are not your ways unfair?
When someone virtuous turns away from virtue to commit iniquity, and dies,
it is because of the iniquity he committed that he must die.
But if he turns from the wickedness he has committed,
he does what is right and just,
he shall preserve his life;
since he has turned away from all the sins that he has committed,
he shall surely live, he shall not die. - Ezekiel 3:25-28

Open your eyes. The existence is there and the ability to do good is within you. All you must do is choose and the world as you see it will never be the same again.

As a corollary, I remind that all must remember the following with charity of heart and mind, with charity of Faith and Reason:

Knowledge inflates with pride, but love builds up. If anyone supposes he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if one loves God, one is known by him. - 1 Corinthians 8:1b-3

Knowledge is dead if it is without love. Live with knowledge in love.