Monday, November 07, 2005

Aggie Awakening #75

A.A. #75
Amazing, simply AMAZING! Each time, whether as a retreater or a staffer, the experience becomes evermore profound. Why you ask? Well, not to ruin it for those yet to experience it, but simply because of the profound impact this retreat has on one's faith life.

The retreat is a weekend-long retreat that occurs three times a year: in the spring, the summer, and the fall. The retreaters are put together in groups, or "tables," for the weekend and madness and mania ensue! I'm joking here, of course. There are talks and discussions, so come ready to share. Overall, it's an amazing experience and one that I will continue to cherish (and renew) each semester.
Christ be beside me; Christ be before me; Christ be behind me; Christ be within me; Christ in my sleeping; Christ in my sitting, Christ in my rising, Christ be in all hearts thinking about me; Christ be on all tongues telling of me; Christ be the vision in eyes that see me; in ears that hear me, Christ ever be.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

When the Saints Go Marching In

Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God the Father of Heaven,
Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God,
Have mercy on us.

Holy Mary, pray for us.
Holy Mother of God, pray for us.

Holy Virgin of virgins,
Saint Michael,
Saint Gabriel,
Saint Raphael,
All you holy angels and archangels,
All you holy orders of blessed spirits,
Saint John the Baptist,
Saint Joseph,
All you holy patriarchs and prophets,
Saint Peter,
Saint Paul,
Saint Andrew,
Saint James,
Saint John,
Saint Thomas,
Saint James,
Saint Philip,
Saint Bartholomew,
Saint Matthew,
Saint Simon,
Saint Thaddeus,
Saint Matthias,
Saint Barnabas,
Saint Luke,
Saint Mark,
All you holy apostles and evangelists,
All you holy disciples of Our Lord,
All you holy innocents,
Saint Stephen,
Saint Lawrence,
Saint Vincent,
Saints Fabian and Sebastian,
Saints John and Paul,
Saints Cosmas and Damian,
All you holy martyrs,
Saint Sylvester,
Saint Gregory,
Saint Ambrose,
Saint Augustine,
Saint Jerome,
Saint Martin,
Saint Nicholas,
All you holy bishops and confessors,
All you holy doctors,
Saint Anthony,
Saint Benedict,
Saint Bernard,
Saint Dominic,
Saint Francis,
All you holy priests and brothers,
All you holy monks and hermits,
Saint Mary Magdalen,
Saint Agatha,
Saint Lucy,
Saint Agnes,
Saint Cecilia,
Saint Catherine,
Saint Anastasia,
All you holy virgins and widows,

All you holy men and women, saints of God,
Pray for us.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Living with Dreams

Many forget that the sacrifices one must take in order to achieve ones dreams do not come without costs or without lost. It is with this in mind that one must dream big and never lose sight of one's goals.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Running Down the Batteries...

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

--Philippians 4:6-7

I am by nature an anxious person. I fret and worry about just about anything of significance...at least until I become immune to worry. Some times worries just need to be ignored or, better yet, left in the dust completely.

Case in point, take my car, a wonderful old (relatively speaking) clunker of a Ford (Found On Roadside Dead...FORD). I went out to my car tonight to go to a party and pick up next week's groceries before Midnight Yell, only to find my car battery completely dead and my car boxed in next to a gas-guzzling pick-up parked too close to my driver's side door. Trust in the Lord, and he will provide. Thank God for friends, I tell you!

Take another point such as classes or whatever causes stress. There are good stressors (eustress) and bad stressors (distress). It's all what you make out of it. Ever heard of the expression, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade?" Or any other derived saying? Of course! It's seeing the silver lining in all aspects of one's day whether it's 100 degrees outside in the blazing sun and getting a sunburn or if it's a task-driving course that seems to be beating you senselessly. It's all about seeing the good of the situation. It's all about perseverance.

Another Bible verse comes to mind for me in this case where we are told that God does not give us more than we can handle and that all that it takes is trust in Him, who has given us so much despite are ever-present unworthiness for His love.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Out of Darkness Comes Light

Finally a day with some cool weather. No rain to speak of from the Storm, just lots and lots of steady wind. Oddly enough it did feel like autumn, since we're already into our second day of it...supposedly. Nevertheless, it has been a very nice day here, much better than expected.

I have plenty to be thankful for. The day off we were given on Friday was a nice break. It allowed us students to volunteer at local shelters for those evacuating from the coastal regions. It also acted as a sort of second Saturday...three day weekends are always nice. That being said, after a productive day on Friday I've had a seriously lazy streak today. I haven't done much, but I'll get my act together for Monday. I moved the car from the Central campus garage this evening and couldn't help but notice the perfectly clear blue skies. It was about 7 p.m. when I passed by Kyle Field on my way to the Koldus garage, around the time the A&M football game was scheduled. It was perfect football weather, absolutely perfect fall weather. How ironic.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Forgiving the Unforgivable

Today, everyone knows, is September 11th. It's the fourth anniversary of the horrific World Trade Center/Pentagon attacks. It is an also important day. It is a day for us Americans to reflect on how we should treat the rest of world, including the Muslims both here and across the world. How should we as Christians act? I don't be cliché like, but what would Jesus do? I ask this honestly. Should we treat hate with equal if not greater hatred? The answer should be apparent to you. NO. Revenge is best served on a cold platter, but it is something that should be removed from our vocabulary. Revenge is not reserved for us. God did not give us our gifts here, our one's here on an Earthly loan for the duration our lifespan, for hatred and revenge. Those are not the actions of true Christians. When I see overly judgmental, the ones who judge to a fault, I cringe. This includes myself at times. What place do we have to chastise our brother or sister if our own sins equal if not surpass our fellow brother or sister?

Take for instance the Gospel reading for Friday, September 9th:
Jesus told his disciples a parable:
“Can a blind person guide a blind person?
Will not both fall into a pit?
No disciple is superior to the teacher;
but when fully trained,
every disciple will be like his teacher.
Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye,
but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?
How can you say to your brother,
‘Brother, let me remove that splinter in your eye,’
when you do not even notice the wooden beam in your own eye?
You hypocrite! Remove the wooden beam from your eye first;
then you will see clearly
to remove the splinter in your brother’s eye.”

--Luke 6:39-42


Another pertinent Bible passage on how we should handle hatred is the first reading from this Sunday's mass, of September 11th:
Wrath and anger are hateful things,
yet the sinner hugs them tight.
The vengeful will suffer the Lord’s vengeance,
for he remembers their sins in detail.
Forgive your neighbor’s injustice;
then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.
Could anyone nourish anger against another
and expect healing from the Lord?
Could anyone refuse mercy to another like himself,
can he seek pardon for his own sins?
If one who is but flesh cherishes wrath,
who will forgive his sins?
Remember your last days, set enmity aside;
remember death and decay, and cease from sin!
Think of the commandments, hate not your neighbor;
remember the Most High’s covenant, and overlook faults.

--Sirach 27:30-28:7


How more true can this be? Hate not your neighbor. That's every neighbor, not just our Christian brothers. Do not cherish wrath as the others do, rather cherish love. Cherish God in all his glory.

May God give rest and repose to the victims of September 11th and strength of spirit to the their families on this difficult day. Amen.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Silver Taps

What a roller coaster of a time. One day I'm feeling on top of the world, the next I'm in the trash heap. What honestly gives? Silver Taps was tonight, Brian's Silver Taps. I felt so disconnected with the so many other Silver Taps I have attended over the past two years because I felt that I should know something more about those I come to commemorate.

Well, I know for a fact now that knowing them doesn't help any either. It allows the opening of old wounds, letting them fester in the harsh reality that is life now. I couldn't help but feel Brian's presence there. It was as if he was there still, like my first semester where he was directing our small games group for TAGD telling me not to worry. All I kept hearing was "Don't worry." The sounds of sirens blared in the background as we awaited the arrival of the Ross Volunteers. The sirens reminded me of those that I'm sure were present after Brian's wreck on Highway 6. The sirens came and went, but my replaying of the events around the time of his death only continued to bother me. I remember the wreck each time I drive that stretch of road. I will always have that on my mind. I just wish this was all a bad dream, and that I could wake up knowing it wasn't true.

But, it is true and that is something we all have to accept in the end. For we pray in the Lord's Prayer: "Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven." Plain and simple. His will is His will, come what may His will will be done. Nothing will change that.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

"I Still Heart New Orleans"

Today's daily mass reading that, although not originally meant for the victims of Hurricane Katrina, certainly now fits. May we do God's will in our actions and pray that God grant us the strength to persevere.

Brothers and sisters:
From the day we heard about you, we do not cease praying for you and asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of God’s will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, so as to be fully pleasing, in every good work bearing fruit and growing in the knowledge of God, strengthened with every power, in accord with his glorious might, for all endurance and patience, with joy giving thanks to the Father, who has made you fit to share in the inheritance of the holy ones in light. He delivered us from the power of darkness and transferred us to the Kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

--Colossians 1:9-14 NAB

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

A Day of Prayer for Katrina's Victims

Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco called for today to be a day of prayer for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. They opened up today's press conference with a set of prayers from the Archbishop of New Orleans Hughes and other spiritual leaders from the area. It was a very moving thing to see.

This is today's Bible verse from a Bible calendar I received over the summer is a very insightful and true statement for what the Lord will require of all us in the coming months of recovery from Hurricane Katrina. It goes as follows:

All that you have commanded we will do, and wherever you send us we will go. -- Joshua 1:16 NASB.

May God bless those affected by Katrina, those who are helping to bring things back to a sort of normalcy, and those who have perished because of this awful natural disaster. May God changes the hearts of those inconsiderate and greedy looters that their dangerous activities may cease so that peace and order can be returned to the ravaged communities. May God be with all today and every day. Amen.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Hurricane Katrina

This is THE ONE. It's it, and there's no doubt about it now. I've been vigilantly watching it on the local CBS affiliate in New Orleans WWL-TV since I've learned of the doomsday track aimed at New Orleans Saturday evening. Surprisingly, I failed to keep my eye on the storm since it's beginnings because of my vacation and move back to College Station. My family and friends have since moved out of harm's way, thankfully, and now all we can do is watch now and pray.

160 MPH sustained winds and at one time stronger than Camille...may God have mercy on those still in the city there. A once-in-a-lifetime storm, thank God.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

St. Therese of Lisieux's Prayers

St. Therese the Little Flower, also know as St. Therese of Lisieux or St. Therese of the Child Jesus, is not the same person as St. Teresa of Avila. Teresa of Avila lived in the 1500's and did many great things. She was a reformer of the Carmelite Order who re-introduced a more rigorous prayer and fasting in the communities she was associated with. St. Therese of Lisieux, also a Carmelite, lived in the late 1800's and did no huge things. She reveled in doing very small things and to the very best of her ability and offering them to Jesus as her sacrifice. She wrote about her "Little Way" of holiness in her diary, which her convent published after shed died of tuberculosis before reaching the age of 24.

Find out more on St Therese of Lisieux at the Society of the Little Flower, the largest organization in the world promoting devotion to St. Therese of Lisieux. The commune of Lisieux itself is in Normandy, France.

Below are two prayers attributed to St. Therese of Lisieux, and I thought it would be nice to share since it is so exceptionally simple and pertinent:


St. Therese of Lisieux & Her Prayer to Know God's Will:

Lord, grant that I may always allow myself to be guided by you,
always follow your plans, and perfectly accomplish Your holy will.
Grant that in all things, great and small,
today and all the days of my life,
I may do whatever you may require of me.
Help me to respond to the slightest prompting of Your grace,
so that I may be your trustworthy instrument.
May Your will be done in time and eternity,
by me, in me, and through me.

Amen.



Another one that was sent to me by e-mail that I am not positive on the origin but is readily attributed to St. Therese of Lisieux:

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of you.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Phoenix Rising: NASA Out of the Ashes

I have looked forward to the day that the shuttle reached the heavens once more. Today is a glorious day. A new step into the greater expanse that awaits us as travelers amongst the starry expanse of space, this our limited stellar backyard.

Today's launch was imperative, even with its great risks and many delays, to return to our rightful place in space exploration--human space exploration. America cannot and will not be relegated to a has-been. It is our time once more to go boldly into our last frontier. Discovery is the first step back in the right direction...to bigger achievements on par with the Apollo years. I want to witness this history before our eyes and savor it the rest of my days. We should be proud in our accomplishments but not haughty, for we can be made lowly in an instance as Apollo I, Challenger and now Columbia has shown proven so evidently clear.

NASA is a Phoenix rising, out of its own ashes and into a new world of continued exploration. As I wrote in an English paper (of the same name as this post) in my first year in college on President Bush's new space plan:
Eugene Cernan, the last man on the Moon, said as he left, “We leave as we came and, god willing, as we will return, with peace, and hope for all mankind” (Bush). Space exploration has beckoned us once again, as in the distant bygone era of the "Space Race." We are not call to go there now just to visit but instead to stay, as Cernan said, "with peace, and hope for all mankind" (Bush). Although President George W. Bush’s new space initiative may need some financial reworking along the way, the stage has been set, which is the most important step of all. As an American people, all we can do now is dream, as before, the impossible dream.
Dreaming the impossible dream is what we as a nation need, for anything is possible if you only believe. That, my friend, is the first step. May God grant our astronauts safe passage back to Earth, back to their families, and back to their nation, returning home safe and sound.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Scuttle the Shuttle?

In remembering the Columbia tragedy of February 2003, I now reprint an op-ed piece I wrote for my high school paper, The Crusader, back in March 2003 in response to the tragedy and thus questioning of NASA's future. The title given above was that of what I originally wished to name the piece (and still do call it), but the newspaper moderator insisted that the word 'scuttle' wasn't proper for a spacecraft (despite the word having a definition in Webster's of "destroy, wreck; also scrap"). All of this coming from an English teacher, no less! Hmph! I personally like it better than that of her title "Shelf the Shuttle?" of which the article was printed as.

Without further ado, I give you my thoughts on the NASA program (circa 2003):

Scuttle the Shuttle?

Questions of NASA’s future are definitely not short in supply these days. The questions of the shuttle’s safety by those in NASA and elsewhere are not specifically on why the Columbia went down but on what happens next. The shuttle program is now in its twenty-first year since the first shuttle flight on April 12, 1981, and NASA is faced with a fleet of aging behemoth giants that the program must go on E-Bay to shop for shuttle replacement parts. What’s NASA’s recent solution? NASA wants to extend the life of the shuttle program for another ten to fifteen years past the original set retirement date of 2012.

In recent years, NASA has tried to develop various designs to phase out the shuttle but to no avail. The X-33 and X-34, eventually dumped by NASA for various reasons, were two possibilities for making space flight cheaper and phasing out the space shuttle. NASA’s solution for the moment is to stick with the aging, though remodeled, space shuttles that are becoming seriously outdated.

Funding for the agency has been top on the list of things that went wrong on and before February 1, 2003. Overall, each year for the past decade, funding for NASA has generally decreased with some exceptions, forcing NASA to go with the uncongenial slogan: “faster, better, cheaper.” The lack of funds for NASA has caused stumbling blocks for the agency notably in probe space exploration as well as development of new spacecrafts. The cause - the end of the Cold War. With no “enemy” to race against, NASA has been grasping for a new focus, which—for better or for worst—has ended up being the huge task that is the International Space Station (ISS). In light of the Columbia tragedy and the still incomplete construction of the ISS, NASA must focus their attention once more to the human element of space flight to stir interest and pride for the space program.

No matter what the cause of the Columbia disaster, NASA must keep a trained eye to detail, a detail that includes not only that of continuing manned space flight but doing so safely. Ironically, all of America’s space tragedies, NASA’s most catastrophic failures in manned space flight, have coincidentally occurred during Cape Canaveral’s coldest month, January. The first was the Apollo 1 pad fire on January 27, 1961, the second was the Challenger explosion on January 28, 1986, and the third was the Columbia crash on February 1, 2003, with its lift-off on January 16, 2003. The coincidences of the two shuttle accidents are abounding, but one must keep in mind the factors that caused them.

With the exception of the Apollo 1 pad fire, both of the shuttle accidents occurred in part as a result of freezing weather and mainly because of the duration of the orbiters left on the launch pad. For the Challenger accident, the launch date was originally set for January 22 but was pushed back a whole week because of an array of weather and hardware delays. Although the cause of the accident was linked to the faulty design of the rubber O-Rings holding the external fuel tanks together, the lengthy amount of time that the shuttle weathered in unusually freezing temperatures (as low as 8°F) was a contributing factor causing the cracking of the O-Rings and the subsequent loss of the Challenger, the first of the shuttle program’s two deadly failures.

Although without the significant delays of Challenger’s fateful 73-second flight, the more recent Columbia STS-107 had the similar cold weather of its foregone counterpart. Officials now wonder if ice forming on the shuttle and on the very debris, the iced filled chunk of insulation from the left external fuel tank that was determined to be “harmless,” was the actual cause of the loss of thermal tiles or the punctured hole of the craft’s skin and the subsequent loss of Columbia. For now we can only speculate, wonder, and think what might have been.

The failures of the shuttle cannot be pinned to exactly one reason but to a plethora of reasons: the appearance of ice in the insulation on the cold January morning, the notorious flaking of large chunks of insulation that has been a problem for the shuttle program from its inception, and the failure to adequately check the problem before reentering Earth’s atmosphere (the orbiter’s arm, capable of checking the problem on the underside, had been removed in order to do scientific experiments on this mission). Therefore, NASA must find a better way to get into space. This way needs not to be cheap but only safe and reliable for any new crews going up in knowing that they will safely return.

The tragedy that has beset the nation has hindered our dreams of space exploration, but it has not stopped the determination of many to keep expeditions and crews from touching the heavens and returning to Earth safely for all of us to benefit from. We must continue onward.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Fire in the Sky...

I found this song written by Jordin Kare shortly after the Columbia disaster in February 2003. It was reported that former astronaut Buzz Aldrin was moved to tears after receiving an e-mail the Saturday after the Columbia tragedy and reading the lyrics on NBC.

You can listen to it at Prometheus Music's web site by either streaming Real Audio or downloading it in MP3 format.

In honor of those fallen and those yet to go beyond "riding fire in the sky" I give you the lyrics to Fire in the Sky:

Prometheus, they say, brought God's fire down to man.
And we've caught it, tamed it, trained it since our history began.
Now we're going back to heaven just to look him in the eye,
and there's a thunder 'cross the land, and a fire in the sky.

Gagarin was the first, back in nineteen sixty-one,
When like Icarus, undaunted, he climbed to reach the sun.
And he knew he might not make it, for it's never hard to die.
But he lifted off the pad and rode a fire in the sky.

Yet a higher goal was calling, and we vowed we'd reach it soon.
And we gave ourselves a decade to put fire on the moon.
And Apollo told the world, we can do it if we try:
And there was one small step, and a fire in the sky.

Bridge:
I dreamed last night of a little boy's first spaceflight,
Turned into me, watching a black and white TV.
There was a fire in the sky, I'll remember until I die.
A fire in the sky...a fire in the sky!

Then two decades from Gagarin, twenty years to the day.
Came a shuttle named Columbia, to open up the way.
And they said she's just a truck, but she's a truck that's aiming high.
See her big jets burning, see her fire in the sky.

Yet the Gods do not give lightly of the powers they have made.
And with Challenger and seven, once again the price is paid.
Though a nation watched her falling, yet a world could only cry.
As they passed from us to glory, riding fire in the sky.

Now, the rest is up to us, and there's a future to be won.
We must turn our faces outward, we will do what must be done.
For no cradle lasts forever, every bird must learn to fly ---
And we're going to the stars, see our fire in the sky.

Yes, we're going to the stars, see our fire in the sky!
There's a fire in the sky, I'll remember until I die.
A fire in the sky, a fire in the sky!

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

In the Company of Good Friends

It's now been over a month since Brian's passing, and it feels like yesterday that I received the awful news. I've been so tied up with other commitments (my new summer work) that I've been unable to post further on that faithful week after his death, how his family and we, his friends, came together to commemorate, to remember, and to say goodbye to Brian.

I had left off in a previous post right before Wednesday and Brian's visitation. Tuesday was the last day of classes for the semester so things were beginning to finish up things for the summer. Wednesday and Thursday were "dead days" that were meant to be preparation for the finals that began that Friday. For me, there were other preparations and things I had to confront before even considering exams. By midweek I was beside myself, in the complete sense. His visitation was Wednesday evening at a funeral home in Bryan. Just the trip going there was surreal. I had never encountered such a scenario, of a friend dead, and then going to a funeral home for a visitation. When I arrived at the funeral home I was rather nervous in entering...not because it was a funeral home but because I knew so few others connected to Brian (such as from his church or his family). I had never met any of them, so trying to find someone I knew made me nervous. I found the TAGD group soon enough and was greeted by some others after entering, which eased my nerves and calmed my heart some. We even got to speak with Brian's father and stepmother some, and one of his uncle's spoke with us trying to find out more on how much Brian was involved with TAGD and game developing. His uncle's visit with us was a really special moment to me because it helped cement a connection with Brian's family I didn't have before. I also had a chance to see some of Brian's childhood pictures and things back from his home in Enterprise, Alabama. Very special, indeed.

Thursday was the day of Brian's funeral at Aldersgate Methodist Church. I did little before then that day. I came to the church a little behind schedule so I came in right before the service began. I remember Brian's eulogy given by his uncle (the same one that spoke with us the night before). He highlighted a post Brian wrote in his online journal, " If it's going to happen, it will happen now," where Brian spoke about becoming more committed to living his life for Christ. The entire service was moving--the hymns, the prayers, the eulogy, the community gathered together to remember Brian--but what moved me most of all were Brian's words read to us. That was the greatest reminder to me of how good Brian truly was. At that moment, I was proud to have known Brian and to have had him as a friend.

When we from TAGD were gathered that night before first at the funeral home, with Jacob Foshee and his friend Davanci all the way from Houston, to remember Brian with all of us, I felt a completeness to the loss of Brian. I knew in my heart right there that Brian would've have wanted this, he would've loved this...a TAGD gathering, something he wouldn't miss for anything! I know I felt a hole in the group there that night, I felt Brian's absence there when we were of the last to leave the funeral home. But I knew he was among us in our hearts, like how Christ is among us each day. For God is love, and love knows no boundaries.

The dinner we shared that night after leaving the visitation was a special one. We sat together not sorrowful because of Brian's death. Instead, we were growing in friendship with one another and having fun, something Brian would assuredly be a part of if he were still here. But, you see, that's what has been the silver lining in this tragic loss of Brian. Friendships have been renewed, and they have grown. In the greatest hardships come the greatest friendships, and so amongst death, life does go on.

I am reminded of the homily Father Kurt gave in the daily mass I attended the Monday after Brian's death, on the day I first knew. When I heard the homily I heard God speaking directly to my heart...I felt a direct connection to Christ. Father Curt spoke on the term "Paraclete", which is another way of saying the Holy Spirit. Father Curt spoke on how we should be the Holy Spirit through our actions and words. The Holy Spirit works through each of us to reach each other. In hearing the association of becoming a sort of "Paraclete" for another and for Christ's work in the world, illumination of Brian's death became clearer. Christ, with the Holy Spirit, was truly working through him. I remember seeing him tirelessly giving of himself for the group and being so passionate in all aspects of his life. After all, that's what friends are for: raising each other up in Christ. Thanks be to God.